The Mad Chef

The End

2006-07-31T16:34:00.000-04:00

OK, it's official:

I suck.

I give up, just can't stick to it. It was fun for a while, but the world (or the 4 people who ever actually read this thing) doesn't really need or want to hear my incoherent ramblings about food anyway. I used to be able to sneak these in between work projects, but the projects just get bigger and there's too little free time outside of work anyway. Thanks to anyone who actually found this interesting and read it, but I obviously don't have it in me to maintain the writing. Fun while it lasted, but now it's time to sign off for good.

-the mad something-or-other

Rebirth, Part 1

2006-07-18T11:50:00.000-04:00

Alright, one more try. I love food too much to let this die, so I'm giving it one more shot.

I got a little worn down there for a while, started to lose some of the love. I found myself overcomplicating my food in a futile attempt to spark my inspiration, throwing everything out there like a network producer adding a new child character in a desperate attempt to save his floundering family sitcom. And, like adding Leonardo DiCaprio to "Growing Pains", even my cumin-coriander-fenugreek-fennel-pepper-some more crap I found in the spice drawer-paprika rubbed chicken thighs just weren't the right answer. I had to take a step back.

I've preached the simplicity mantra before, but I don't think I had ever completely bought into it myself. So I started writing down my recipe ideas before I cooked them, just to see what they looked like on paper. If it was something that would wear me out just from reading it on a restaurant menu, I scrapped it. Or, at least, I trimmed it down. I started building formulas for how to construct a recipe, with building blocks like aromatics, herbs, and acids like citrus or vinegar. Ingredients had to serve a purpose, not just to be in the recipe so I could say "Look how fancy I am!" A lot of the "bad" (which I place in quotes because they were not actually unpleasant to eat, but because they could have been much better if I had a clear sense of purpose in preparing them) recipes came about because I had very little time and thought that I could make up for it by piling on the flavors. I know better than that, and I knew better at the time. I think that is a large part of why I grew so frustrated. I was doing things that I knew wouldn't work out, I was just hoping that they would.

I started my rebirth by working on pasta dishes. Pasta is a staple in our house, we buy it in 6# packages at Costco. It's cheap, cooks quickly, and it plays well with others. Of course, I'm discussing dry pasta here. Fresh pasta is an entirely different conversation, one that I'm quite honestly not skilled enough to approach at this time. Just a disclaimer, I don't want to commit culinary heresy here.

Anyway, I wrote down a page of pasta combinations that could all be prepared in the time it took for the water to boil and the pasta to cook. A simple formula, they all needed an acid, an herb, garlic (which is a pretty safe assumption, if I cooked it, there's probably garlic in there), and something for body, often a vegetable of some kind (roasted red peppers, sauteed asparagus, tomato, arugula, etc). A cheese if appropriate, which it usually was. These weren't hard and fast rules, they could bend, but the point was that there needed to be a reason to add another ingredient. If it wouldn't really bring anything to the dish, why is it there? Too many flavors confuse the palate, and they just add extra work for the cook. Now, granted, I was happy to grant a special dispensation to the bacon so that it could join the crispy sauteed asparagus and shallots, balsamic vinegar, and fontina cheese, it just belonged there. But wilted spinach? It wouldn't conflict, but it doesn't really add anything either. You get the picture. . .

Anyway, this has potential to go on for a while, so I'm going to break it up. Don't want to burn out on my first day back, plus this gives me material for tomorrow. Until then.

I Didn't Want to Love You. . .

2006-01-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

OK, I've added a new cooking show to my list of personal favorites: Ham on the Street. My lovely and talented wife was laughing out loud with me yesterday while we watched the episode about hot dogs, just freaking brilliant stuff going on here. It may not change your life, culinarily speaking, but it will certainly make you think about the food you eat and consider some new possibilities.

After trying to describe the show to my her, I realized that it's almost impossible to do it justice. I'm not even going to try here, you just have to watch it for yourself. Fortunately the Food Network is pimping it pretty hard right now, so they're re-running the two (so far) new episodes all the time. Just check the link for the schedule, you'll be glad you did.

Conveniently enough, they've got the new episodes scheduled for Wednesday nights at 10:30, just after the Professor. I'd make his name a link to his new website, but there's not very much going on there at the moment. Sounds like they've got some pretty cool stuff planned, but it's been "planned" for a while now. Then again, I have no room to mock anyone for slacking on their website/blog. Either way, the link in the sidebar still goes there.

I'm very much looking forward to the new episode this Wednesday, the theme is "Insomniac Cuisine." Since I've had two decent nights' sleep out of the past 8, it speaks to me. I had a little piece planned for today about a nice "culinary heritage" moment I had last week, but it's going to have to wait for me to get some damn rest. The quality of this post should help clarify the reasoning for that. . .maybe tomorrow, I'll resort to warm milk and muscle relaxers if I have to. . .

That Worked

2006-01-20T14:59:00.000-05:00

Hee, hee, hee. . .chicken good.
Clarified a few tablespoons of butter with a couple of crushed garlic cloves and two fresh bay leaves in the pan, let it simmer until all the solids sunk to the bottom. Then mixed that with fresh ground pepper and the juice of one freakishly large Meyer lemon, and injected that liquid love all throughout the chicken. I may have gotten a little carried away with it, but it was goooooood.
I zested the lemon, then minced the zest together with olive oil and garlic. A little salt and pepper, then rubbed that all over the bird. Good stuff, very good stuff.
This injector has a lot of potential, I believe I may just be cracking the surface here. I also haven't slept in about 5 days, so I'm believing a lot of things right now. Not really sure why, no extra stress or anything. I've just been staring at the ceiling all night long, and pondering food. . .
The pondering did inspire me for dinner last night, I still had the white meat left from the chicken. I cubed it up, and made a cilantro cream sauce with it for some penne. Carmelized a small onion, deglazed with a little wine, then worked in the chicken and cilantro with 6 fiery little Arribibi Gusano chiles from the freezer. Good times, very good times. . .just had it again for lunch, but cream sauces never reheat that well.
Tonight I slack with take-out, though, I've got to sleep eventually. Herbal tea, some warm milk, and perhaps a sharp blow to the head should do the trick quite nicely. . .see you on the other side.

Tastes Like. . .

2006-01-17T15:48:00.000-05:00

Chicken. That's what's on the menu for tonight.
I have a pretty comfortable method for roasting chicken, always happy with the results. I brine it overnight (or more), then I rub it down with olive oil, some combo of herbs and spices, and usually a little citrus juice or vinegar. If there's some of the slather left over, I pour it into the cavitiy.
I give it an initial blast of heat (usually a 500º oven, ~15-20 minutes) to crisp up the skin, then drop the oven to 350º and let it ride until my probe thermometer says the internal temp is 165º. I let it rest ~15 minutes, then we dig in. It works well, always juicy and flavorful, and I can make the sides while it's in the oven. I always enjoy it, even on a weeknight it's not a stressful meal to prepare. . .so why am I feeling compelled to screw with it?
I lay awake in bed last night, contemplating a variation on my old standby chicken. A variation perhaps, invovlving the marinade injector that a friend gave me over Thanksgiving. . .
Pondering what a roast chicken would taste like if its meat were injected with a combination of melted butter and Meyer lemon juice, perhaps infused with garlic and fresh bay leaves, and then left to soak up that goodness before going into the oven. And, what if I just wasn't able to help myself, so the slather on the chicken was garlic and the zest from that same Meyer lemon?
Could that be worth a betrayal of my roast chicken that has stood by me for so long? Could I ever be true to that recipe again after a one-night stand with this exotic temptress?

We'll find out tonight.

One More Try. . .

2006-01-11T10:43:00.000-05:00

This is it. If I can't keep this thing going, I'll have to put it out of its misery. My last try was a little naive, I was still holding down 2 full-time positions within my department at the time. They finally hired a replacement for my old job, so I should (theoretically) be back in the saddle again now. We'll see. . .
So many new discoveries since I've been away, so much to write about. I've discovered the magical Middle-Eastern spice sumac, the wonders of roasted, ground chicory root in much more than coffee, and I am now the proud owner of a food dehydrator. This is going to be fun. Jerky is first in the queue, but it's wide open from there. Anyway, I'll try and take baby steps for now, but I miss writing here. Even if only 3 people were ever reading it to begin with. . .

As Tom Petty sang from my stereo this morning, "Oooh Oohoohoohoooh/I keep crawling back to you."

Meat. . .You'll Be a Chili, Soon

2005-10-14T11:22:00.000-04:00

Ain't that purdy?

It's Time

2005-10-12T11:10:00.000-04:00

Much has happened since the last time I blogged.
I took on some new responsibilities at work which ended up dominating my life from April until. . .well, they're still dominating it. I was finally offered those new responsibilities as an official job, and accepted the position, although they still haven't filled my old position so I'm still doing both. I finally started playing with flank steak, and fell in love. I got a smoker, and BBQ was made. I brewed a much better chile beer, a pasilla chile porter, and I loaded it into my 4 mini-kegs and drove it all the way to a chile farm South of Indianapolis to engage in chilehead insanity with a bunch of other crazy folks. Also made some pork tacos while I was there. Too much to try and recount it all, but it's time to get this here blog back on track. And we're going to start with chili. Not the slacker method, this one is going to be awfully complicated. It will require numerous steps, and it will hopefully take several days to complete it all, but the results will be worthwhile and they will be documented. I finally got a digital camera, folks, so we'll start having some visual aids around here too. Well, getting back to work for now, but here's your's truly hard at work on some pork tacos. Chili starts soon. . .

Get Your Love On

2005-04-02T18:12:00.000-05:00

The mayonnaise has been made from scratch, and it's blended with cracked pepper and a balsamic vinegar reduction. Equal parts of ground pork and beef have been mixed with sundried tomatoes, kalamata & gaeta olives, flat-leaf parsley, garlic, crushed chile flakes, anchovies, and egg yolks and pattied into 6 big-ass burgers. A cheese guru has provided me with an asiago fresco to melt on the patties. My lovely and talented wife has made angel food cake from scratch (and damn is it good), although I'll have to find out later just how good it is with fresh strawberries and homemade whipped mapleview farms' cream. I've already got a glass of Blanton's in my gut, champagne is in the fridge, and it's time to get our love on.
Love Feast '05: You can't stop the Love.

The Love Feast, Finally

2005-04-01T12:02:00.000-05:00

It's usually in February around St. Valentine's day, but for many myriad scheduling reasons our annual Love Feast dinner party is finally happening this Saturday. This has traditionally been a dinner party where each couple is assigned a course and the accompanying alcohol, with each dish intended to be an aphrodisiac of some kind. I always do the main course, and my lovely and talented wife prepares the dessert. In the past, I've made homemade ravioli with oyster & mushroom filling and served with a puttanesca sauce, a braised Thai-inspired pork roast, and homemade gnocchis with a mushroom-sage-cabernet cream sauce. This year, I was planning on pan-seared monkfish with a lemon-caper-bacon pan sauce, served over bitter greens with a side of jasmine rice with coconut milk and thai basil. . .but then I realized that my brilliant scheduling had landed the Love right smack dab on the night of the Final Four. We live in basketball country, and we are a basketball people, so I had to find a way to make the two work together.
So I will be making. . .Love Burgers.
I'm going to do a meat combo of beef, pork, and maybe some ground veal, and I'm taking some inspiration from the first Love Feast and using some key puttanesca ingredients in the burger blend. I'm thinking garlic, black olives, parsley, red pepper, and anchovies. I'm also going to take my first shot at a homemade mayonnaise (thank you, Professor, for replaying your Mayo Clinic episode last night!), and cruise the cheese counter at Whole Foods to find something appropriate to top it. Maybe some grillet-sauteed mushrooms, maybe still use the bitter greens, maybe a lot of things, but I'll see what inspires at the farmer's market in the morning.
I think I'm also going to break out the Euro-Pro and fry up some homemade potato chips, cause what says love better than some bubblin-hot oil? Topped with some fresh chives and a little white truffle oil. . .this might still be OK.
My lovely and talented wife will be working with angel food cake (from scratch), strawberries, and homemade whipped cream, but I'm not 100% sure what her final vision is. I trust her, though, it'll be tastyfied.
Erik and his ladyfriend are handling the cocktail hour, which I believe will feature the limoncello he's been working on for a while now, and we've got some other friends round out the first course. I have no idea what they're bringing, but I have faith in The Love.
Not so much time to write today (or this week), so I'll have to cut it short. I've got some new job duties, and hopefully they will turn into something official soon. It's much more fulfilling work that what I currently do, and would actually provide a daily challenge. I pretty excited at the prospect, but I don't want to get ahead of myself before it's official. . .of course, I'll be shouting it from the blogtops once/if it is!
Love update on Sunday or Monday, until then.

Worthy Cause

2005-03-22T12:48:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to share this, I'm pretty impressed. My huge soft spot for animals surely plays a part, but I think this young girl is making a better case for the human race right now than most of those who have been elected to lead it.

We Would Like to Issue a Correction

2005-03-21T15:12:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I stated that glimpsing Bobby Flay and Emeril Lagasse on tv together was like a peek into the 9th Circle of Hell. That made me realize that I have in fact never read Dante's Inferno, so who am I to say which circle it indeed resembled? I'm sure it was one of them, but I don't really know. A brief googling brought me to the SparkNotes version, which helped correct me.
The Ninth Circle is actually the frozen lake, and that's not really what it looked like. The Third Circle might more closely resemble the experience of watching the show, and that is the destination of the Gluttonous. They are made to "lie in mud and endure a rain of filth and excrement." That sounds about right for watching Flay and Lagasse play the dueling egos for an hour. But that still doesn't adequately describe the two of them enteracting.
The Fourth Circle involves people charging at each other with giant boulders, which seems like we're getting warmer. But it's still a little bland. Maybe that's because I'm reading the summary, but that's what I've got right now.
The Fifth Circle is the river Styx, described as "a swampy, fetid cesspool in which the Wrathful spend eternity struggling with one another; the Sullen lie bound beneath the Styx’s waters, choking on the mud." Now, see, once again we're describing the viewing experience, not what is actually being viewed.
Moving on. . .to the Sixth Circle, which they don't really describe other than to say that it houses the heretics. Not saying that couldn't apply here, but I really need more info to make a decision.
Now it starts getting complicated.
The Seventh Circle has multiple Rings within it, all reserved for different types of violence, differentiated by who/what the violence was directed towards. We've got souls boiling in rivers of blood, souls spending eternity as trees (which sounds oddly out of place, but that is for the suicides), and spending eternity walking across a desert of burning sand. Once again, this isn't quite what I'm looking for. Now we get to the Eighth Circle, which is made up of ten different "pouches." I never really thought of Hell in terms of pouches, unless you count fannypacks, but I'm not going to argue here.
In order, the punishments of the Ten Pouches of Nastiness are: 1) lashings from whips, 2) lying in a river of human feces, 3) hanging upside down in Baptismal fonts while their feet "burn with fire," 4) walking with their heads on backwards, 5) steeping in pitch while being torn apart by demons, 6) walking in circles for eternity while wearing robes made of lead, 7) being trapped in a pit of vipers, turning into a viper when bitten, and having to bite someone else to become human again. . .until someone else bites you, 8) they don't specify, but that's where Ulysses is, 9) walking in a circle while constantly afflicted by wounds that "open and close repeatedly." Sounds kind of like Flay or Lagasse's mouth while they're trying to think of something intelligent to say. And 10) Horrible plagues and diseases. When in doubt, hard to go wrong with plagues and diseases.
#4 has definitely got something going for it here, but when it all comes down, I think I have to pick #7. It's an endless cycle of self-serving evil and suffering, which is what the respective careers of Flay and Lagasse are all about.
So next time I'm faced with the need to describe viewing such an unholy pairing on my television, I can simply tell people that it was as though I had peered directly into the Seventh Pouch of the Eighth Circle of Hell. There, I feel much better now that I've cleared that up. Carry on.

Words Cannot Describe the Terror

2005-03-21T13:46:00.000-05:00

I was sitting down to watch a DVRed episode of Iron Chef America, and apparently it caught the end of Emeril Live! which aired right before it. It started recording just in time to capture Emeril Lagasse and Bobby Flay together on the same set, doing a show together. It was like peering into the 9th Circle of Hell for that split second it took my finger to move to the fast-forward button. I'm just thankful that I was spared having to watch their "witty banter."

On a pork-related note, pics are coming. Some technical difficulties with the camera are slowing things down, but I should have them up soon. I took lots.

The Pork Will be Televised

2005-03-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

I've borrowed the digital camera from our office, and I'll post pics of the pork in progress tomorrow and Monday. Also making salsa tonight, so I'll see if it yields any good pics. I'm putting the pork in the marinade tonight, and it looks like (if I can get by the mercado) tamarind, lime, soy, molasses, garlic, chiles, cumin, and probably beer. I'm skipping the dark beer because I've already got a lot of flavors going on there, plus I'm on a budget. I'm thinking about using High Life instead. 40oz for $1.69, it's pretty hard to beat.
"The Champagne of Pork," I like that.

Yarrr. . .

2005-03-17T10:03:00.000-05:00

OK, my lovely and talented wife rocks. After some discussion last night, I believe I may get my pirate flag. I'll probably have to rotate a few flags, but that's alright with me. Her major issue with it was not the concept of me flying a pirate flag, but rather that she was just trying to figure out why the hell I wanted one. I fear that this has been an ongoing struggle for her with many things that I do, but she's a really good sport. REALLY good sport.
I've also done a little more digging, and I believe that the flag of Stede Bonnet might be more appropriate. After reading his story, I think I'm a lot closer to Stede Bonnet than I'll ever be to Blackbeard. Now I just need to find one that's 3'x5', as opposed to the little 10"x16" deals. I did find a Stede Bonnet sticker on Ebay, so that's another option (not mutually exclusive). Make my truck into a pirate sloop, yarrr. . .

I should also clarify that my indentifying with Stede Bonnet has nothing to do with the "nagging wife" theory, if anything I could probably use a little more nagging.
Just thought I should put in that disclaimer in case she ever reads my blog. Back to work, and realizing that everything I've just written sums up why I need the flag in the first place. . .

A Pirate Looks at 27

2005-03-16T10:38:00.000-05:00

I think I may be suffering from a 1/4 to 1/3 third life crisis (trying not to be pessimistic, but not to get carried away here either). I'm not wanting to buy a sports car, I'm perfectly happy with my truck, but there is an irrational purchase I want to make. My lovely and talented wife played along until she realized that I was serious, now she's getting concerned. I'm sure I can't be the only person out there who wants one of these, but I think it's the fact that I want to display it in front of our house that's truly bothering her.
I want a pirate flag, and I want to fly it off our front porch.
Is that so bad? There are lots of people in our neighborhood with those stupid garden flags with hummingbirds, sunflowers, asymmetrical pastel designs, even one from a certain university that shall not be named, but suffice to say that they painted their entire house the school's color.
I just want a pirate flag.
I don't know if this is in response to the fact that all but 2 of my one-time 18 body piercings have been removed, that I haven't had any work done on my tattoos since 1999, that I work a desk job, wear collared shirts every day, go to church every Sunday, make small talk, haven't seen a keg outside of a bar in 2 years, pee in a toilet every time I go (EVERY time!), go to bed by 10, wake up before 6, haven't acted on stage since December of 1999, haven't been in a fight since 2000, haven't gotten on stage in a bar and sung a few rounds of old country songs with the band, that my "Prick Body Piercing" shirt has been hanging unworn for almost a year now, that I finally got rid of most of my Hawaiian shirts because I really never wear them anymore, either. . .the list goes on.
Whatever the reason, I really want a pirate flag, and that idea has stuck with me for a while now. Not the first time I've had a "silly" thought like this, but this one has been hanging around for over a month now.
I thought about a good old "Jolly Roger," but that's a little cliche. Maybe a Richard Worley? The "Calico" Jack Rackham is nice, too, but I really feel like I should honor the history of my state and go with an Edward Teach since we all learned the legend of Blackbeard in elementary school. I don't know what the Homeowners' Association would say, but part of the damn problem is the fact that I now have to answer to a friggin' Homeowners' Association in the first place! Damn them to Hell, and they can walk the plank for all I care! I'll fly my Edward Teach flag, stick sparklers through the spacers in my ears, and storm their next board meeting if they want to challenge my flag! I've got a beheading sword, I'm not afraid of them! I'd have to get it back from Erik first, but I could! And while I'm there, I'll tell them to do something about my neighbor's dog that keeps digging in my garden, 'cause they don't want no pirate justice coming down on them for it! Don't Fuck With my Garlic, Bitches!!!

Then again, maybe my lovely and talented wife will let me fly it off the back porch. Compromise is good, right? I wish I knew how to type a sigh like the one I just made.
I think I've got to go work on my TPS reports now. . .

Too Much Pork For Just One Fork

2005-03-14T15:29:00.000-05:00

I had to make a call, and the call was self-indulgent gluttony. My lovely and talented wife is heading out of town this weekend to go to the beach with some friends from work. I decided (with some helpful inspiration from Paul here, and here) that it was time to thaw out the 8lb Boston Butt that has been sitting in the bottom of the deep freeze for some time and cook it up while she was gone. Being a rather large chunk of meat, I figured I'd invite some friends to join me, ice down a bunch of beer, and serve up piles of slow-cooked pork for everyone. Unfortunately, it appears that "everyone" will also be gone this weekend. There's no way I can justify cooking 8lbs of pork when I'll be the only one there to eat it, can I?
Hell yes I can.
If I cook it, they will come. I don't know exactly who they will be, but someone is eating some pork this weekend, even if it's just me. I've been itching to try a different approach to my pork, and what better time to do it? I usually brine my pork all week, then rub it down with some kind of slather the morning of the cooking. I put it in the oven at 500º for 20-30 minutes to sear it all up and make it crispy, then I drop the heat down to 200-250º and let it go all day until it's done.
This time, it will be different. I'm planning to marinate it overnight, then pour the marinade into the bottom of the roasting pan. I'll put a spice rub on the meat, put it on the rack in the pan, then seal the whole thing up with foil and put it in a 200º oven to cook all day long. When it's just about done, I'll take off the foil and put it under the broiler to crisp up the fat on top. While it's resting, I'll probably put the pan on the cooktop and reduce the marinade into a sauce. I'm currently thinking a soy-molasses-lime-chile-garlic-dark beer base for the marinade, but I'm not sure what it will turn into by Friday night. I've got some blackstrap molasses left over from the porter I made, and that may be just what the doctor ordered. Maybe I'll swing by the mercado and pick up some tamarind, that might be a nice little touch to it all. Only time will tell. . .
That's going to be the highlight of the week, although I'm also excited about revisiting the grilled ratatouille and trying a modification to the Professor's butterflied chicken recipe. If nothing else, it will be fun just to dismantle the bird like that. Trying to go to the gym today and do a little PT in the pool, so tonight will probably just be something quick and simple. If it's anything good, look for it here tomorrow.
Until next.

R.I.P. Big Worm

2005-03-10T14:13:00.000-05:00

It is with great sorrow that I must announce the passing of an old friend. I was checking on my Baird's rat snake, Big Worm, last night when I realized that he had passed on. Big Worm had been with me since the late 90's, and has always been a good pet. He has been through 5 moves with me, and rode shotgun in the truck for each one. He had been sluggish lately, and I believe he had become ill. I only wish that I had reacted before it was too late. He will be laid to rest tonight underneath the holly tree in our back yard, and will be greatly missed.

Dangerously Out of Control

2005-03-08T16:49:00.000-05:00

Now that I have a real garden of my own, I hate seeing it empty all year save for the Summer and early Fall when my chiles and tomatoes are in full swing. I started out planning to just try some English peas, but that just opened the floodgates.

I found a new seed site a week or two ago that has some pretty interesting and different varieties. They're slow during Spring and Fall, I still haven't received my order that I placed on 02/23/05, but at least they give you fair warning about that. Their prices are great, and so is their selection, I'd recommend taking a look there if you're trying to find anything in particular. I'd especially recommend it if you just want to browse and be inspired, that's what they did for me. I stumbled upon it while looking for one item, then ended up placing a tag-team order with my boss that included a huge Italian zucchini (if only Derek Smalls had known. . .), San Marzano tomatoes, black beans, tomatillos, Chinese yard-long beans, juane canari melons, a (supposedly) wonderful strain of Italian parsley, and epazote. Then I started hunting for Spring garden seeds. . .
This past Sunday, I sowed seed for the peas, cilantro, flat-leaf parsley, dill, radicchio, arugula, a mesclun mix pack, an Italian heirloom broccoli, broccoli raab, radishes, spinach, and 5 kinds of lettuce. I figure that if I plant enough seeds, I'll grow something successfully. Even if it is just the radishes. I've also started some new plants of thyme and sage (can always use more), and I've got some little baby chervil and mitsuba going, too. Trying my hand at garlic for the first time as well, plus some heirloom nesting onions from my grandparents that I think may actually be these, but I can't prove it yet. I'll have to keep an eye on them this year and see how they grow, but I hope I'm right.
I've already got my chile babies started and living in my mini-greenhouse, and I'll start the tomatoes later this month. Planning to try beans and corn for the first time this year, plus the old favorites of pattypan squash, black beauty zucchini, and eggplant. I've also got the giant zucchini, so I get to build a new trellis for that too.
I love to slice the squash, oil it, season it with just a little salt, pepper, and garlic powder and then toss it on the grill. Great stuff, also takes well to whatever seasonings you're grilling your meat with. Grilled zucchini with worcestershire is a house favorite, or sauteed with onions and cremini mushrooms.
Eggplant gets a many different treatments, and I have a hard time picking. I like to make "pasta" with it, as inspired by the Professor's recipe. Also a big fan of slicing it thinly (I use the mandoline), marinating it in soy, canola oil, garlic, sliced chiles, and a little sherry and then slapping the slices on the grill. You have to work fast, you literally lay them all out on the grill, then immediately go back to the beginning and flip them, the go right back and take them off, but you get this wonderful carmelized crispiness to them and they make a great appetizer to hold folks over while you grill the rest of the meal.
Or, we take lots of veggies from the garden and make the grilled ratatouille.
I love having all of these available during the Summer, there's something very satisfying about knowing that you don't need to go to the store to eat, it's all in your back yard. Not that I'm going to become a survivalist or start raising my own swine and cattle, but this is about as close as I'm going to get.

I am hoping to have a dinner party sometime this Summer where I only serve things that I've grown, or where every dish is based on something from my garden. I won't be able to resist throwing in some meat, but I'd like to try to use it as a complimentary item, not the focus. I just think it would be an interesting challenge, plus I get to sit there with that smug look on my face and say things like, "Oh, I'm so glad you like it. Did I mention that I grew it myself? I did? Silly me, sorry about that." That, or maybe I'll just think it. Either way, the smug grin will probably be involved. That's all for now, or I'll just keep babbling about the garden. I don't have a single seed germinated yet for the Spring crops, so I'm getting a little ahead of myself as it is. But you best believe that I'll be here crowing about it as soon as I do. . .
Until next.

Cooking For The Dentally Unstable

2005-03-07T14:41:00.000-05:00

It's been an interesting cycle of food over the past 13 days, and I'd like to tell you a little bit about it. Wouldn't that be neat?
We begin on Day 1, with the highly-recommended chuck-eye steak. For ~$4/lb, this is a darn tasty cut of meat. Marinate the hell out of it, probably start it the night before you'll cook it, but it's some good eatin'. Grilled to medium-rare over a high flame, and it's probably the best bang-for-your-buck steak I've had in a long time. Maybe it was the moment, knowing that I wouldn't really be able to chew for a few days, that made it so good, but I plan to double-check it in the near future. I actually just put it in the marinade that morning, and I think I would benefit from overnight, but it was still mighty fine. A little sweet, a little salty, a good bit spicy, and with just a nice little bit of char on the outside to set it all off. Good times! The broccolini, however, let's just say that the flavor gets a little strong on the grill. I don't think I'll be repeating that preparation.
Days 2&3 were all pudding, Frosties, and prescription painkillers, plus a little soup. Not too much to say, but plenty of drooling.
Day 4, I started getting sick, so I decided to make some soup. I chunked a frozen quart of my chicken-mushroom stock into a pot with some soy, rice wine vinegar, a few kaffir lime leaves, 4 or 5 sliced chiles from the freezer, and some of an Asian spice rub that someone gave me, then brought the whole thing to a light boil/strong simmer. I beat 3 eggs, scooped out the kaffir leaves, then streamed the egg into the bubbling soup pot while stirring it all together. Don't know if I was anywhere near real egg drop soup, but it tasted pretty good.
Day 5, I thought I was dying. A friend of my lovely and talented wife came over, and I made chicken salad. Then I plunked into my chair and tried not to snore while they were talking. I couldn't really eat much, but it had lemon, parsley, green onions, paprika, garlic, salt, pepper and Duke's Mayo, plus some other random herbal/spice ingredients. Wasn't really sure what I was putting into it.
Day 6, I was definitely dying. Canned soup, then crawled back into bed. Dinner was Stovetop Stuffing, and that's it.
Day 7, I made it into work for a few hours, I think I ate lunch. For dinner, I had some sashimi grade tuna in the fridge that had to be cooked. I oiled, salted, and peppered the pieces, then seared them up. I sliced them and drizzled them with light soy and a little rice wine vinegar and broiled some asparagus to go on the side. That was pretty good, and it made me feel a little less useless. Then I passed out at about 7:30pm.
Day 8, more canned soup, then some Chinese leftovers for dinner. Finally starting to feel a little better, so I crashed early again.
Day 9, we had a social obligation and I was finally making a comeback. Finger foods and semi-imported beer, here I come!!
Day 10, it's payday, I don't feel like total crap anymore, and we're going for sushi! I discovered a new favorite, the "South of the Border Roll!" It's tuna, avocado, jalapeño, and a little mayo. Good stuff. On a side note, rice is a little tricky when you have sockets where 4 teeth used to be. Try to find a delicate way to extract those grains, and tell me if you do.
Day 11, my lovely and talented wife helped me do some garden prep for the Spring crops (another post), and we rewarded ourselves by eating take-out. Aside from a little congestion which may or may not have been related to the liter of peat moss I accidentally snorted, feeling pretty good. Then I joined my boss and his wife for a dinner of chili, which it turned out was only the 2nd time they'd ever made it. I tried to conceal my horror at this fact, but the chili was still pretty good. I have much to teach him, though.
Day 12, more work in the garden (actually planting the seeds this time), followed by a dinner of black beans with bacon, onion, and garlic plus corn bread and chow chow. Topped off with a little (read: metric assload) of fatalli-powered hot sauce, and it was a forehead-mopping good time. My sinuses are officially clear. I finally got a good dutch oven, and my beans are so much better now. It's like cooking pasta, you really want a lot more cooking liquid than you think you need. Beans cooked in just enough liquid to cover turn into mush, while beans cooked in a big pot with lots of room are still beans at the end. Very important, unless you like bean mush. If you do, then, well, to each his own. Bean mush-liker.
Day 13, leftover beans for lunch, and I'm planning on penne with a creole-inspired shrimp sauce for dinner. Don't know exactly how it will turn out, but I know it will involve green bell pepper and sweet onion, probably in a light cream sauce. I'll have to report on that later.

Well, I better get back to work, I'm still trying to catch up. Just wanted to get all of that out there. This is what I get for taking all that time off, I guess. Back to the grind, and I'll be back with the shrimp penne and some excitement over things I'm trying to grow (then cook) this Spring.
Until next.

Pudding and Percocet

2005-03-07T11:09:00.000-05:00

Wow, that was a fun little stretch there. The extraction went fairly well, and the little bastards plague me no more. Unfortunately, they didn't use enough local anesthetic (I have a strange resistance to the stuff, takes about twice the normal dose to numb me) so I was in a world of hurtin' from when the sedation wore off until I could get home and get some painkillers in me. Some small complications during recovery, but no big deal. The next day I actually felt pretty good, largely due to the titular combination, and was expecting a full and speedy recovery. Then I woke up sick Saturday morning, and that was pretty much it for the next week. Turned out my weakened immune system decided that bronchitis was the way to go, and I didn't really start to recover at all until Thursday. Fun stuff, but I think I'm finally back on track. Well, aside from the dry socket, but I'll just spare you the details on that one. Some good food was made since I last blogged, so I'll jabber on about those in a new post, just had to get in this update. On to the food!

Helllooooooo Pudding!

2005-02-23T12:01:00.000-05:00

Enjoying my last day before I become well-acquainted with the snak-paks, and I'm having steak tonight as a farewell to mastication for a couple of days! At 9:45am tomorrow, I will be having 4 teeth popped out and I bid them good riddance. I have plenty of other teeth who have been happy to do their job with no pushing, shoving, complaining, or repeated infections and I will be more than happy to go the rest of the way with just them.
My farewell steak is currently marinating in a combo of soy sauce, worcestershire, olive oil, garlic, black pepper, ground mustard, a splash of balsamic vinegar, and two different kinds of ground, smoked chiles. I am very excited about this. I'm also going to grill some broccolini with lemon and garlic and make some rice to round it all out. Potatoes would be better, but then I'd have to go to the store. Not happening. What I'm most interested in is seeing what our HT butcher really knows about the meat he's slingin'! I was at the HT on Saturday, and was perusing the last chance bin for a cheap, good steak for the aforementioned reasons, when the butcher started chatting with me. I talked to him for a minute, then he came around the counter and recommended a chuck eye steak to me. I'm always a little wary of grilling anything originating from the chuck, but he swore up and down that this is the best for your money, and that it's what he himself takes home when he eats steak. This being a fairly ringing endorsement, and at only ~$4/lb, I decided to give it a shot. The one thing I've found about these steaks is that you better marinate the heck out of them, and you better not like your steak over medium rare. Well, you shouldn't like your steak over medium rare no matter what, but that's already been discussed here. I'm just going to slap it on the high heat, turn it, flip it, turn it, throw it on a plate and let it sizzle. Mmmmmm. . .red meat. . .hard to go wrong with that.
It will probably be next week before I get to report back on the steak, that is unless I go on a painkiller-fueled blogging bender tomorrow, so this place will be silent for a few days. Wish me luck with the extractions, hopefully it will go smoothly. If not, well, that will just suck. I can't have anything other than clear liquids the last 6 hours before the appointment, so I'm going to load up tonight. Well, I would consider scotch to be clear. . .
Until next.

A Little Slice of Heaven

2005-02-21T12:17:00.000-05:00

Paul of Playing With My Food, and a resident of my hometown, has posted pics of two of my favorite things about Carrboro: Cliff's Meat Market and Tom Robinson's Seafood. They may not look like much, but they're pure gold in my eyes. The freshest, best meat and seafood you can find anywhere around here, and with some of the best selection to boot. I have to talk to Tom sometime soon, I need to put in a request for an upcoming dinner party. But that will be another post. For now, just savor the majesty.
Until next.

Short & Bitter, Just Like My Dwarf Mistress

2005-02-18T15:20:00.000-05:00

First, though, I must say that the talent show was much better than I expected. There were even a few "Daaaaammmmnnn. . .those kids are pretty good" moments. There were a couple of brutal ones, too, but you try to focus on the positive, right? Seeing a kindergardener in a big, yellow star costume sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star is worth the price of admission, anyway.

On to the bitterness!

I was getting ready to leave for work this morning when I heard a hissing noise. At first I thought it was the stereo, but it was off. Then I thought it was the gas fireplace, but the noise wasn't coming from there. Then I realized. . .it was coming from under the floorboards. I made a running-like motion over to the laundry closet and cut off the water main, and the noise slowly petered out. So I spent the morning awaiting the plumber, who patched it in no time and left with a few bottles of homebrew in his truck for later. That wasn't so bad. What's bad is that we have Qwest pipes, and that this is the second leak since December. What's really bad is that they've denied our claim on the class action suit against Qwest because the leaks occured just outside of 16 years since the pipes were installed. This means that the entire plumbing of our house will have to be replaced, and it's happening ~1 year too late for it to be done on their dime.
Suffice to say that I will be leaving work a little early today, and there's a cold, frosty pint glass with my name on it. Perhaps it will bring it's smaller, less frosty friend along who just happens to be filled with whiskey. Until then, I'm checking out the clinical trials to see if I qualify for any of them. . .that pipe isn't going to pay for itself.
Until next.

Pain is Good

2005-02-17T09:31:00.000-05:00

I've had to be a little selective about what I'm eating lately, not just because of the diet. I have an abscessed wisdom tooth, it's actually the third time for this particular tooth, so it's presenting an interesting challenge to me. I'm having it, and it's 3 friends, out one week from today, but in the meantime I have to find things I can eat. Last night, that ended up being fridge pasta.
Delving into the depths, here's what I found:

Leftover roast chicken, already shredded
Heavy Cream
1/2 lemon
Questionable cilantro
Really questionable green onions
1/2 red onion

I liked what I had to work with, but I needed something more. I've been in fairly strong pain from the tooth since the weekend, and I decided it was time for me to control the pain. Or, at least, choose to inflict pain on myself to overpower the pain that my tooth was dealing out.
To that end, I went to the big freezer and came back with one of my Red Monster habañeros to top things off, then I put some water on to boil. I minced 3 cloves of garlic, the hab, and then diced up the red onion and put them in a cold pan with a little olive oil. Put that on low heat, then I tossed the questionable bits and salvaged what was still good of the green stuff. I put the whites of the scallions into the pan, then sliced up the rest. Once the goodies started sizzling, I salted them a little and let them sweat down. I had to add a little pasta water to keep them from cooking too fast, you can actually lose some heat from the chiles that way. But not too much, just a few splashes with the pasta scoop. Once the aromatics started to soften, I added some cream to bring it all together. I stirred in some shredded chicken, the greens from the scallions, and the juice from the 1/2 lemon, then let it simmer. Once the pasta was done, I splashed in a little more water to the thin the sauce to a workable consistency, stirred in the rest of the cilantro, and tossed it all together with the pasta (which was a few handfuls of penne).
Hooooo doggy.
That was some mighty tasty eating, and the endorphin rush carried me through almost til bedtime without hearing a peep from that damn tooth. I'd been wanting to mess with a chicken-habañero pasta for a little while, so I was glad to have the chance. I think this one was pretty close to right, although I may have to perform some further investigations just to be sure. I think the one thing I would definitely change would be to use a whole lime instead of the 1/2 lemon, but that's what I had at the time. It could have used the extra acidity to brighten things up, but it was still a pretty darn good meal.
I'm cutting it short today, so all three of you can breath a sigh of relief. The left side of my head is throbbing, and I appear to be sweating for no apparent reason at the moment (although that may be from thinking about those habs). I'm going to take that as I sign to put my head down on my desk for a little while, and maybe make some guttural, threatening noises at anyone who tries to talk to me. Any entries after having the teeth out should be interesting, so keep an eye out for those: "I had applesauce today. I freaking hate applesauce." There won't be any dinner to write about for tonight, as I will be attending the spaghetti dinner at my lovely and talented wife's school. I'm going to their talent show tonight, yay. I have to leave the room during particularly awkward moments in TV shows, so this should be interesting. . .
Until next.

The Popcorn, The Popcorn, The Popcorn is on Fire

2005-02-11T15:42:00.000-05:00

Well, my day has certainly been more interesting than I expected it to be.
I was walking over to our little break room area when I noticed a fair bit of smoke coming up over the dividing wall (it's more like a "break cubicle"). So, I busted it around the corner as well as I can bust it these days, and I saw smoke pouring out of the back of our microwave. I popped the door open, and was greated by a bag of the new internal-combustion microwave popcorn. There were flames popping inside the bag, and smoke pouring out of it, so I grabbed it and threw it into the sink. I turned the water on it, and the damn thing sizzled and popped for a few minutes before finally giving in with a damp, smelly, sputtery death groan. I have to say, there's no aroma quite like that of charred Act II popcorn. And now we'll get to experience that aroma every time someone heats anything up for the next 6 freaking months. Good times.

Back on track! I'm very happy to hear from fellow Carrboro-ite Paul Hinrichs, whose blog "Playing With My Food" can be found in the Links section. I will also link directly if he gets a chance to post a pic of the immortal Tom Robinson's Seafood. Either way, though, thanks for stopping by Paul! I'm envious of your proximity to all things good and Carrboro. I also am going to have to order some of the beer sausage you posted about, that is truly a thing of beauty. I'm still hunting for the KitchenAid meat grinder/sausage stuffer attachment on Ebay (preferably really cheap), and I hope to add sausage making to my resume in the not-too-distant future. Although, that does seem like a very, very dangerous idea. I can see the late, drunken evenings when the conversation turns to, "Wow, you know what would be cool? If we took that, and made SAUSAGE out of it!" Actually, I'm kind of looking forward to that. . .

Anyway, on to the herbs! I've got my standards in the herb barrel on the back deck. Rosemary, berggarten sage, thyme, and chives, plus Greek oregano and mint in windowboxes and tarragon in a pot to keep them from taking over. I couldn't do without those, and having them fresh makes cooking so much easier. But I've been trying to add new flavors to the garden. Flavors that aren't mandatory, but that greatly expand the variety of my cooking.
I found a kaffir lime tree at the farmer's market, which has such an irreplaceable flavor that I'm not sure how I cooked some dishes without it. I'm also going to pick up a lemongrass plant (to pair with the kaffir) and a bay tree once they become available again. I had always used bay leaves in brines and long-cooking dishes, but the fresh ones add a surprisingly bright and complex herbal flavor that really can't be compared to anything else I've ever had. Those two are an easy call, but I still want to add more.
Once the farmer's market cranks up, I'm also planning to pick up an old favorite called Vietnamese Coriander. I've had plants in the past, but I didn't overwinter them properly and lost them. It's not quite the same flavor as traditional coriander/cilantro, with a slightly more lemony flavor, but I honestly just find the plant itself much less frustrating. It grows in a vine-like form, cuttings root easily, and you don't have to worry about it bolting. Great stuff, I highly recommend it.
I'm also a huge fan of basil, and usually end up growing several different kinds of it. It's the only plant this high-maintenance that I have the patience to grow, as I can't stand to go through the Summer without it. Basil has such an incredible flavor and aroma, I have to rank it above tomato leaves. I grew Napolitano this past year, and it's one of the best fresh basils I've ever had. The leaves are huge (also known as lettuce leaf), and the flavor is exceptional. It falls at the farthest end of the sweet range of basils, which makes it versatile, but I need to have some of the spicier basils on hand, too. Moving towards the middle of the scale, you come to Genovese and the aptly named Spicy Globe Basil. I grew both last year, but I prefer the Spicy Globe in a photo finish. They both have the clove tones that take basil from Italian food staple to exotic herb, but they're balanced enough that it's still wonderful fresh on your pasta or pizza. Plus, the SGB is a neat looking plant that really does grow in almost a perfect globe. On the opposite end, Thai basil may be one of the most incredible herbs known to man. I didn't really think it was that special until I finally grew it for myself and had it fresh. It's amazing, I think the best descriptor for it is "heady," although I kind of feel like a tool using that word. It just fits, though. It's got that minty-clove thing going on in such a way that it will make you forget all about those nasty cigarettes everyone smoked in high school (Actually, those were kind of good at the time, but no more for me, thank you). Asian noodle soup with Vietnamese coriander, kaffir lime leaf, chiles, mint, and Thai basil is so flippin' good that it makes Top Ramen into a sexual experience, I shit you not. The first time I had it, I had to go take a cold shower afterwards, it's that good. If you don't believe me, try it some time. Just don't do it when there's anyone else around.
After trying all of those other herbs, and loving the results, I'm trying to find that new hidden treasure that will change my cooking forever. The other day I was at a hardware/garden/supply store looking through the seeds for landscaping plants (our yard is very boring, but I can't afford to buy lots of plants), when I came across a packet of Mitsuba seeds. I have never had Mitsuba, but $1.79 is worth risking, even if I decide it tastes like crabgrass. If it is good, though, making great and different food gets that much easier.
Chicken is chicken, veggies are veggies, beef is beef, fish is fish, and pork is a gift from God, but it's all equal sitting in the grocery store aisle. It's what you do with your food when you get home that makes the difference. Or that makes you a dirty, dirty person, but I'm not judging. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make some noodle soup and smoke a clove.
Until next.

Just Follow the Path, Wherever It Leads

2005-02-10T13:04:00.000-05:00

I had originally intended to talk about the wonderful Tom Robinson's Seafood, and the great fish I picked up there on Saturday. Tom's is this little, beat-up looking concrete hovel that's only open Thursday-Saturday (and you better bring cash or your checkbook), but has the best seafood in town. I made the trip over there hoping to score some quality monkfish, and I learned that I need to be there on Thursdays to get that. I ended up with some flounder that was wonderful, and baked it in a modified (I think much better) version of Rachel Ray's baked cod in tomato sauce. I put the fillets in a baking dish and topped them with lemon juice, salt, pepper, and Old Bay. Then I sauteed garlic and onion 'til slightly translucent, then added diced zucchini. Salt, pepper, and a splash of balsamic, then added a can of drained diced tomatoes. Two pats of butter to thicken the sauce, then I spooned it onto the fish and popped it in the oven. Tossed some angel hair with the leftover sauce, and we had a winner. Nothing too fancy, but I was pleased with the result.
When I was searching for something to link to about Tom's shop, though, I came across this. I'd seen it before, but I hadn't really paid that much attention to it. I finally read through it a little today, and I got a little nostalgic about my hometown. Not that I live that far away right now, I still head over there every Saturday morning to have breakfast with my folks, let our dogs run with theirs, and give my lovely and talented wife a chance to sleep in. I just miss so many things about the place where I grew up that I simply don't find where I live now.
When I looked through his photo album of old mill houses, these are the houses from my neighborhood. I walked past those to catch the bus when I was a little kid, and I still walk past them now to get to the farmer's market. This is the neighborhood I walked through to go make my first purchase from the legendary Cliff's Meat Market (I think I was maybe 10), or just up to the grocery store, or to the diner where I worked before getting married and getting a real (read: desk) job.
I loved that, in Carrboro, we walked everywhere not only because it was there and close, but because the town invites you to walk through it. There's always a sidewalk, or a bike lane, and you always knew you were safe. We did have some folks living in the woods behind the elementary school who would try to hit you up for money, but they were never particularly threatening. I live in Durham now, and I can't imagine walking anywhere from our house other than to take the dogs around the neighborhood. We live in one of the better parts of town, but there just isn't anywhere that you would want to walk to.
I guess it's predictable that so many of the places I'm hankering to walk to involve food, but what better reason to walk? Within a quick trot of the old homestead you've got great sushi, French, one of my favorite bar & grills, the diner, Weaver Street Market, and a great restaurant that can't even really be classified. Those are just if you want to go out, but you have great shops if you want to hit your own kitchen. There's a mercado right around the corner, the aforementioned meat and seafood markets, Weaver Street for the fancy stuff, and a good old HT for the basics. Not to mention the Farmer's Market, and all within a short walk.
This only scratches the surface, but I think it's time to cut myself off. I can ramble for a long time about. . .anything, I guess. Don't get me wrong, some of the overly socially-conscious folks can get irritating, and it does have it's share of self-righteous hippy-types. But what do I care about the people? It's not like I'm trying to talk to them anyway.
Please pardon my little fit of reminiscence. I just had to share a little love for my town, and I think Readers #1 & #2 might understand. I just hope that the path leads back there eventually, and if I have any say at all (which I don't know that I actually do) I believe that it will. Time to sign off now, before this puts any remaining readers to sleep.
Until next.
Coming Soon: exotic herbs that won't get you arrested!

Nothing Important

2005-02-08T16:40:00.000-05:00

That is what my life has become. I dread every morning when I have to leave the sweet, sweet darkness of my safe, womblike bed. The crippling fear that overwhelms me as I try to face the daylight just won't let me. . .I'm just kidding. You thought it was going to be another 10k-word ramble about my insecurities again, didn't you? Well, no. At least, not today.
This is just a quick diet update, since I've failed in my goal to keep myself honest by updating on it. Started out at 216 a few weeks ago, weighed in at 204 on Saturday. Gradual progress, but hopefully lasting. Still messing with a lot of baked fish ideas, including what Rachel Ray's recipe looks like if I just take the idea and wing it with what I have in the house. Will try to discuss that tomorrow, I've actually been doing work today! But I was very happy with the results, so it's worth sharing here.
I feel like Ms. Ray has some great ideas, but her execution of them could use a little fine tuning. I also feel like I spend way too much time analyzing Rachel Ray, but that could be because she's on TV for an hour straight right when I'm usually cooking dinner, so I do tend to watch her almost every day.
On another developing note, I'm trying to use one of my other hobbies to expand my cooking. I've been trying to add new herbs and vegetables to my garden, just so I'll have some new flavors to work with. I figure that, on our budget, I can rarely afford the truly exotic ingredients at the store. But I can certainly grow them, and a packet of seeds is rarely more than $2. I won't elaborate too much on this right now, as it's 4:52pm and nobody better get between me and the door today, but it will certainly be an ongoing project. Well, off to wrap things up for the day, but I've got a few things on tap for tomorrow. Until then.

I-Ronnnn Chef!

2005-02-04T10:58:00.000-05:00

OK. I may have had my doubts at the beginning, but I'm really enjoying Iron Chef America.
After the god-awful network TV attempt, I was a little fearful about this one, but I had faith in the Food Network. I don't always have faith in their specials, but I figured they had seen the first try at this, so they knew that it would fail again if they didn't get it right. Plus, they threw in The Professor as their main commentator, so I was obviously going to give it a shot.
In many ways, this show is better than the original. I'm sure that part of this is that I feel like I already know the I-Ron Chefs (of America!), but I'm also familiar with a few of the challengers. So I can actually have an opinion other than "Bobby Flay is an arrogant prick, I hope he gets his ass kicked by whoever that guy is." I can look at the schedule and think, "Wow, Rick Bayless, he's a god! I'd really love to see someone who respects tradition as much as he does kick the everloving crap out of that arrogant prick Bobby Flay!" See? It's much more fulfilling this way. It also lets me care more about the matchup itself, and then the secret ingredient is just a bonus. For instance, in the first 2 episodes they went for tradition versus new-wave cuisine. They put Bobby "Hi, I'm an arrogant prick!" Flay against Rick Bayless, then they put Mario "I don't get a derisive nickname, I'm fairly likeable!" Batali against Roberto Trevino, who I'd never actually heard of despite his Beard Foundation recognition. But it turns out that he's one of the big studs in Nuevo Latino cuisine, and made some very impressive dishes. Interesting stuff, it's fun to watch the contrasts and also see where they're drawing on the same influences.
But they changed things up with the most recent episode, when they threw Bobby Flay against Ming Tsai. Dubbed "The Battle of the Fusion Cuisine Egomaniacs" (well, at least by me), I finally got to watch it last night. At one point, I was a huge fan of Ming Tsai. I still admire his cuisine, he's just always a little too pleased with himself. Then he left the Food Network to go to "Fine Living," and that pretty much sums up my issues with him right there. But I was certainly still in his corner due to my early fandom, and the fact that he was up against the arrogant prick. Very entertaining, good dialogue going back and forth, Ming openly fucking with the arrogant prick's head and laughing about it, and that's the first time I've ever seen an air compressor used in the preparation of poultry. But I think the best moment was when they were about to announce the winner, the looks on their faces were priceless. Ming Tsai had that look of, "Heh, I just kicked his ass," and Flay had that look of, "Wow, he just kicked my ass." If nothing else, the whole series has been worthwhile just to see that.
Another big plus has been the soux chefs. I know that sounds a little silly, but they're bringing in top-shelf folks to back them up. It makes it easier to do more impressive dishes, and it's interesting to see how their team functions. Just a fun little tidbit to watch.
And, of course, there The Professor doing commentary, so that can't help but be an improvement. But I think the biggest edge to the American version is that everyone is speaking English. It just gives you more insight to what's happening, because you hear their own words in their own voice. But it is hard to give the Food Network credit for that, given that they're in an English-speaking country.
Of course, though, there are some drawbacks. Kevin Brauch is still struggling as the floor reporter, and he has considerable shoes to fill by following the immortal Shinichiro Ohta. In the most recent show, I kept forgetting he was there. Alton had to continually prod at him to get any info, so I'm not quite sure what was going on. I'm a big fan of "The Thirsty Traveler," but Brauch seemed to do much better in that format than he's doing here, I hope he can adjust.
The other personnel issue is The Chairman. I understand that Mark Dacascos is the nephew of the original Chairman Kaga, but he's just brutal. He takes himself far too seriously, and he murders with his efforts to create the camp that comes so naturally to his uncle. I mean, Kaga looked like a Japanese Liberace, talked a mile a minute, and you often couldn't quite tell if he was parodying himself or if he was just that insane. It was great. Dacascos seems to still think he's in "The Crow: Crappy Sequel With a Goofy Name or Spun-Off TV Series," and that just kind of kills it. The producers seem to understand this, as they have limited his screen time, but he's still dragging behind the show like an anchor. Everything he says is scripted, you don't get the moments like Kaga seeing that a regular challenger had shaved his head and asking. "May I touch it?" while wearing a Holstein print jumpsuit. Maybe William Shatner wasn't that bad of a choice.
But the biggest things that separates the two is the theater of the original. This may improve over time, but it's what made the Japanese Iron Chef television gold. You had the"Ota faction" marching in, awkward celebrities presenting their favorite chef, drunken mentors punching assistants in the head because they didn't like what they were doing, and the occasional truly bizarre secret ingredient. Or, in the early episodes, things like "Rice!" or "Milk!", which was absolutely hilarious because you got to see Iron Chef Chen with the look of "What the fuck am I supposed to do with milk, I'm from China?!" Also just the cultural differences that make you laugh and say "Look! They're not the same as we are!" And last, but certainly not least, the Japanese rap star, Korn. These things just can't be duplicated through effort, they have to happen on their own. Granted, stranger ingredients can be selected, but they're making it an American show. I'd love to see Bobby Flay in "Battle Goat Pancreas!" but they're smart to save that for once they've established their audience. I think some people are going to miss that in this version, though, so they'll have to work it in at some point. Maybe when Morimoto finally makes his first appearance in the series.
I'll wrap this up, but I just had to offer my (was $.02, now) $100 on it. I guess the verdict is that you can't really compare them, it's just a different feel. I greatly enjoy this show, I have it on my DVR list, and I look forward to watching it every time. But it will never replace the cult (not anymore, too widespread to be cult now) classic that I discovered one drunken evening in college and said, "Holy shit! You can make ice cream from eel?!" and began planning my life around watching with it a group of other drunken idiots. The original represents a whole period of my life, as well as the good times we all had playing drinking games and talking out of our asses about what we thought they were doing with that 3-foot-long radish. And those ideas rarely involved them making food out of it. Ahh. . .drunken immaturity, how I miss thee. At least, while I'm at work. Until next.

Baked Fish, Hold the Whining

2005-02-02T13:21:00.000-05:00

OK, no crying from me this time. Promise. Well, maybe a little, but I won't write about it. That work? Cool.
Baked fish again last night, trying for something a little simpler with a little less cleanup than the Rachel Ray version. One thing I noticed with most of her recipes is that they do indeed cook quickly, but most of her time-saving involves buying pre-prepped ingredients and using a veritable army of pots and pans so that everything is cooking at once. Great when you need to have it on the table quickly, not so great when you're trying to save money or if you're the one who has to wash all those pans. Plus, I really like good fish, so I'll take any excuse to prepare it a new way.
We had haddock this time, which isn't that inspiring on it's own, but it's really inspiring when it's on VIC Buy and you don't get paid until the next week! Plus, haddock is extremely versatile, as opposed to a more flavorful fish like salmon or tuna that needs to be catered to. Sooo. . .haddock it was. Of course, I found after the fact that they had shark, so I was a little bummed that I didn't get to play with that. But I'm alright now.
I had a little under 1# of haddock in two fillets, and I thought baking it in foil would be the easiest way to cut down on clean-up. I rinsed the fillets, and lay them on two separate sheets of foil. This way I could do a little customizing, and not set my lovely and talented wife on fire. I went ahead and rolled the ends over to form an open pouch, then I started adding ingredients. First off, I drizzled some olive oil on top, then squeezed in half a lemon. I split that between the two, but they probably would have been a little better with half for each. I likes me some fresh lemon. From there, it was time to hunt through the cabinets.
Reminding myself that I was supposed to keep it simple, I came back with 3 scallions, a few cloves of garlic, a little flat-leaf parsley, and the Old Faithful of seafood ingredients, Old Bay. I was an Old Bay junkie when I was a kid, I'd put it on anything. One night after lacrosse practice, I came home and emptied all of our leftover pasta into a big bowl, reheated it in the microwave, tossed in some butter, parmesan, and Old Bay, then spent the rest of the night walking around eating it. Good times. Plus, Old Bay is the only pre-mixed seasoning blend that The Professor is willing to use, and that has to count for something. I also grabbed an Inca Hot chile from the freezer for mine, they're great with seafood.
I'm also really enjoying linking to the Epicurious Food Dictionary today, it's been in my favorites for a long time. I highly recommend it.
So, in order, olive oil, lemon juice, Old Bay, chopped garlic, sliced chile (for mine), sliced green onions, and chopped parsley all went on top of the fillets. I sealed up the packets and rolled them down to less than an inch above the fish.
You want to be a little careful when doing this, as you don't want to manhandle the fish by crushing it inside the foil, but you also want to restrict the space so that it will steam some in it's own juices.
I put the two packets on a baking sheet, then into a 350º oven for 12 minutes.
While that was cooking, I made a box of parmesan couscous according to the package directions. Only difference is that I threw in some chopped, (still-)frozen broccoli once the water came to a boil, then waited for it to come back to a boil before stirring in the couscous and letting it rest. When it was done, I mixed in some diced tomato and called it a side dish.
The fish came out just right, and the whole thing was done in no time. I threw away the foil, tossed my cutting board in the dishwasher, and washed one pot and one knife. Not too bad on the clean-up side, and it's always fun to cook in pouches. There's just something about opening it up and having all of those aromas come wafting up to you.
The Professor even did an entire episode about pouch cooking, I want to try the ramen pouch sometime. Seems like there needs to be some alcohol involved in making that, though, so I'll just have to twist some arms and get a few guinea pigs over for the experiment. I don't have any Saturday night plans yet. . .Until next.

Ewwww

2005-01-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

OK. After my self-indulgent rambling this morning, I had to share this. What in the name of all that is good and holy made the marketing folks at Harris Teeter think that this was an appetizing picture to put on their "Weekly Specials?"

I don't think I will ever be able to eat a Swedish meatball again. Unless I'm drunk, in which case all bets are off.

Baked Fish and Misanthropy

2005-01-28T10:59:00.000-05:00

Always a magic combo. The baked fish turned out quite nicely, I must say. I think it could have stood to be pulled out a minute or two sooner, but certainly edible. I used this recipe as my inspiration, and actually stuck pretty close to it, ingredient-wise. I sauteed ~1/2 a red onion (diced) with 5 cloves garlic (minced) in a little olive oil, then deglazed with white wine and lemon juice. Added 1 (15oz) can of diced tomatoes, then cooked the sauce down for a few minutes. In went 1lb of cod filet, I tossed some sauce on top, then into a 375º oven for about 15 minutes. Probably would have been better around 13 minutes, but not a tragedy. Fish comes out of the oven and is removed to a plate to rest. You mount a few pats of butter into the sauce, the toss in some angel hair that's been cooked just shy of al dente and finish it in the pan. Made some sauteed and steamed green beans on the side, and it was a great, quick, weeknight meal. I almost didn't try the recipe, though. I like the braised fish idea, and my lovely and talented wife actually requested this recipe, so there was really no question about it.
I just have a problem with the source.
Rachel Ray has some great ideas, and I have it on good authority from Reader #3 (who has met her in person) that she's a very nice person. She just seems too. . .bubbly. She seems like that person that I would meet at a social gathering that someone, somehow, convinced me to attend, and she would refuse to let me off the hook conversationally. Normally in those situations, I try to keep my verbal interactions with people brief. I either keep moving, or find a location where I can do something without making it obvious that I'm avoiding human contact, while that is exactly my intent. And I keep drinking. I think I see Rachel Ray, and she just seems so gosh-darn friendly and energetic that I immediately feel a wave of fear and anxiety wash over me as I realize that, in this imaginary setting that will never happen, I might become entrapped in a conversation with her and I wouldn't be able to escape. This terrifies me. Please understand, I have nothing against Rachel Ray. In fact, I watch her show all the time. I even DVRed her episode of $40 a Day in my hometown. She just represents something that I fear. This is something I give a lot of thought to. . .
I realize that this can send the wrong message about me, and it became rather apparent this past Sunday. My lovely and talented wife and I met another couple our age at a potluck that night. After she made the initial conversation and deemed it safe (God do I love her, she saves me), she called me over. Turns out, the wife works in an elementary school (as does my lovely and talented wife), and the husband works in clinical trials (which has nothing to do with my work). Why are we deemed a good match? He hates people.
We spoke for quite some time, and he's a great guy. We got along well, we've even invited them over this weekend, I just feel the need to clarify myself. I don't hate people. I dislike interacting with people, but it's not their fault. It's because it terrifies me to speak to new people, I'm paralyzed by the very thought of it. I'm only comfortable at social gatherings if I'm cooking, and that's mostly because it gives me the aforementioned "thing to do while avoiding human contact."
My good friend, and erstwhile Reader #1, helps me out with this. Whenever he has a large gathering, he usually makes some kind of a food event out of it and lets me handle some aspect of the cooking. When he hosted his annual scavenger hunt two years ago, I grilled pork loin for 40+ people. Then, I promptly took my plate from the kitchen and snuck around to eat in the stairwell. It was perfect. I wanted them to eat the food, and enjoy it, I just didn't want to be there while they did it. Well, it was perfect until one person found me. But he was just being polite, and offered some thanks and compliments for the food. I still felt awkward, though, I just didn't know how to handle it. Once again, not the other person's fault. I guess that is why I enjoy the web so much, I'm not me. I'm my email address, or my blogger handle, or my forum ID. This is probably why I thrived as a theatre major in college. I was up there in front of anywhere from 125 to over 800 people, but it wasn't me. They weren't there to judge me, or see my faults, they were there to watch a character. No matter what they thought of the character, it wasn't me. I was safe.
I still use some of those characters, when avoidance isn't an option. It seems harder to maintain them now, but they're still there for me. On stage, I'm strong. I have a deep, resonating voice that you can hear in the rafters. Stage Me speaks clearly, and with confidence. He's charming, and quick-witted, and doesn't doubt himself for a moment. He's a handy guy to have access to sometimes.
Real Life Me. . .I mumble. I second guess my words to the point that I often can't get them out of my mouth. I stutter sometimes, and occasionally lapse into the speech impediment I went to therapy for in elementary school.
It's funny that those two personas exist in the same person. I know they're both me, I just wish I understood more fully how to control them. I like aspects of both, and each certainly has it's place. It's just that I know I'm a very strange little man, and the conversation will always be easier if that strange man isn't involved.
Well, enough rambling for today. I've really got to start cutting back on my Friday morning drinking. Until next.

Winter Day Chili

2005-01-24T13:10:00.000-05:00

We had a nasty stretch of weather last week, following up our bizarre ascent into the mid-70's the week before. I decided that rather than try to make sense of it all, I'd just start drinking early and make some chili! I had originally set out to make one of my complicated, lengthy, what-the-hell-is-in-this-but-it-sure-tastes-good batches, but my own poor time-management prevailed. We also rushed to the grocery store on a Friday night in hopes of beating the mob spurred on by the forecasts of snow and sleet and ice and freezing rain, none of which really appeared in any significant amount. The point of that is that I just shopped for slacker chili ingredients, so slacker chili is what I made. I had to improvise a little, some of my favorites were in short supply, but I was very happy with the result. Smooth, red, rich, and just spicy enough that my lovely and talented wife could still eat it. Here's what went in, minus the secret blend of herbs and spices:

~2.5# Lean Stew Beef
1 jar of HT Traders Tomatillo Salsa (I wanted to link to it, but apparently the HT doesn't want to put this on the web)
1 15oz can Hunt's Tomato Sauce
1 15oz can each Bush's White and Gold Hominy (normally I just use white, but they only had one can left)
1 bottle of my Roasted Chile Wheat Beer
1 red onion, diced
6 cloves garlic, minced
3 Hahong Ku Chu chiles, minced
Assorted spices, lots of cumin

I didn't drain any of the cans, as I wanted to be able to simmer all of the liquid off. I even added a little water by way of rinsing out the salsa and tomato sauce into the pot. Browned the meat in batches with a little salt and canola oil in my chef's pan, then dumped them into my dutch oven for simmering. I have a really cheap and thin dutch oven right now, so my chef's pan is much better and browning and searing things. Figured I could get the best of both worlds this way. I added all of the canned goods (salsa, tomato sauce, hominy) and the spices to the DO and put it over low heat while I cooked the meat and veggies. After the meat was done, I tossed the onions, garlic, and chiles into the CP, salted them, then cooked them until they started sticking to the bottom of the pan. Then I deglazed it all with the chile beer, and dumped it into the pot.
I simmered it covered for 2 or 3 hours, then ditched the lid and brought it back to just a simmer again. I took a little break to drink some more beer, futz around online, and watch my boys roll to 15-0, then back to stir and sniff some velvety, red, beefy goodness.
Didn't even make corn muffins for this one, just threw some sliced chiles in the bottom of the bowl, and spooned the goodness on top. I have to say, this was one of the better batches I've made in a while. I wish I could pinpoint the one thing that set it apart, but I think it was just that everything melded together perfectly. I do love the slacker method, but there's really no substitute for hours of slow-cooking at just a bare simmer. I usually gauge the (cooking) heat by whether or not a "skin" forms on the surface. If one does, but you still have some bubbles breaking through, you've got it perfect. A full boil will overcook the meat in a heartbeat, and then you have to simmer it even longer to get the meat to break down again. And, even then, it's still going to be a little dried out. If you don't even have the bubbles, you're pretty much just warming it.
Well, I'm making baked cod with tomato sauce tonight, doing some pasta and green beans on the side. Should be good, and quick. Will report back on that tomorrow. . .I've also added a few new links on the side here, just some of my favorite reading of late. Until next time.

Dieting Sucks

2005-01-20T14:41:00.000-05:00

OK, I've been inspired by Reader #3 to post this. I'm ending week 2 of calorie restriction, and I honestly haven't weighed myself yet. I've been to the doctor a few times, but they always weigh me while fully dressed. Why they wouldn't want to see my glorious, nekkid, in need of losing a few pounds body posing on the scales, I will never know. But they don't. Ever. Soooo. . .here's what I now eat every day.

Breakfast: 1-1/2 cups of Kashi GoLean! ceral w/ 1/2cup of 2% milk, and 12oz of orange juice.
If you do the math, I have 15 grams of fiber before I walk out the door every morning. My colon is scared at this point.
I have also now been reduced to using Splenda in my coffee, and it kind of sucks. Yes, it is made from real sugar. Never in a million years will that make it taste like real sugar, though. It's just creepy stuff, but I can get much better food in my system for those calories. I think the best thing about it is that it's making me want to drink my coffee black. I really can't emphasize enough just how much this stuff bothers me, it may have to be it's own entry sometime. Until then, though, I'm still trying to wean myself off it.
Mid-Morning Snack: 2 hard-boiled eggs w/ hot sauce.
This one sounds kind of boring, but I've come to really look forward to it. I like eggs, I like hot sauce (a lot), and I need that mid-morning boost. I originally just had one egg, but I cut some other calories to get the second one in. No real complaints here.
Lunch: Tunafish sandwich on whole wheat bread
This is actually pretty OK, too. I'm getting a little tired of the tuna, though. Must find more ways to make it interesting without adding calories. Right now, it's just hot sauce, light mayo, and lettuce. Occasionally mustard of some type, various spices, but it's still tunafish. I need to work on this particular portion of my day, or I will go insane. The cats love it, though.
Afternoon Snack: Carrots and Microwave Popcorn
Carrots are good, carrots are safe, I like carrots. Of course, microwave popcorn wouldn't normally have any place in a diet. But this one is made with olive oil, and only 2tsp at that. I think the major appeal of it is that it gives me something else to mess with, so I can at least get some variety. I'm trying a different method every day, but I don't have it right yet. I found out why the recipe calls for dry seasonings instead of hot sauce, though. If you add liquid to the mix, the water must cook out before the oil can pop the corn. It had the most flavor of any method I've tried, but the most burnt kernels too. Anyone who has ever lived in a dorm knows how long it takes to get rid of the smell of burnt popcorn. That's why I only make it at work.

I'm on a 2400 calorie diet, so all of this leaves me with ~1300 calories to work with for dinner and beer, which really isn't bad. Average beer is 140 cal, so I get almost 460 to work with for my meal. This whole diet thing is all right, if I weren't so dang hungry, crabby, and hungover all the time. Well, must go to PT and humiliate myself, but don't get discouraged when faced with dieting! Just make sure you adjust your intake to have room for what is important. Until next time.

Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself

2005-01-19T13:07:00.000-05:00

Before I get started, I just had to share this essay from Tomato Nation. She does an excellent job of putting into words my own frustrations with both the low carb craze, and what it says about our society as a whole. Read all about it right here.

Sorry I've been absent lately, haven't been able to do much cooking. New treatments seem to be working well, but I'm just getting my ass kicked in PT. I feel like that has to be a good thing, though, must mean that I'm accomplishing something. I'm starting to get inspired again, so I'll try to get back in the saddle after payday. Nothing terribly exciting in our pantry to cook with right now, but I'm trying to get creative with it. Thanks to Reader #2 for joining us, I'm glad you enjoyed the bubbling pork fat. I'm actually still working on the (frozen) remains of that pork roast, mostly in ramen. Pretty good with some scallions, chiles, and mushrooms. And thank you Reader #3 for the recipe link, I'm definitely putting that on the list. I can't wait to have the real thing when I go visit him in NM. Apparently he had a run-in with the Department of Homeland Security during his trip, but I haven't received the details yet. Sounds potentially exciting. Still working on the popcorn, haven't gotten it quite right yet. My dry seasonings smell great, but they're not sticking. I'm trying tossing the kernels with oil, salt, and hot sauce, and hoping that it sticks better this time. Will report back.
Diet is doing fine, down a pound or two. It actually makes it easier in the mornings, because I have no decisions to make while waiting for my caffeine to kick in. I just pack my pre-assembled lunch according to my list, and out the door I go. Wow, this may be the most boring entry I've ever written, I apologize. I'm going to end the suffering now, but I'll be back with some more goodies this weekend. Until then.

Until Our Paths Meet Again

2005-01-11T13:25:00.000-05:00

Last night was a very tasty, but somewhat sad occasion. My cousin, who is the closest thing I have to a brother, is moving from our home state of NC out to New Mexico. His job is putting him in charge of a whole region out there, and it is a wonderful opportunity. However, he is a truly excellent human being, and we will all miss him. But now we have an excuse to go to New Mexico!! I still feel like I need to give the state another chance, as I've only seen it in the middle of the night while driving cross-country. I think I will get that chance.
Anyway, I wanted to make sure we gave him a good send-off meal, so I grilled up a 1.5lb aged angus beef sirloin. I marinated it in olive oil, soy, worcestershire, garlic, cumin, and 4 different types of smoked chiles (Thank you, Stevo!), then slapped it on the grill. I poured the marinade into a saucepan with a little brandy and cooked it down while I was grilling. A little pat of butter to finish the sauce, and then I sliced up the steak and tossed it all together. Grilled some yellow squash with a sweet & spicy rub that my lovely and talented wife gave me, and threw on some corn to round things out. A damn good meal, if I do say so myself. Wish I had some left for lunch today, but that ain't happening.
Even if we hadn't eaten all of the food, I don't think it would fit my new lunch guidelines. Yes, lady (or possibly ladies, though I only know of one who reads this) and gentlemen, the mad chef is going on a reduced-calorie diet. No trendy crap, no Atkins BS, just eating less. I figure that with how my joints are doing these days, I could stand to put a little less weight on them. The goal is to get back down to, or maybe even under, 200lbs. That's about 15-20lbs, so it will probably take a little while. And I figure that if I write about it here, maybe I'll hold myself to it. Had I planned ahead, I could have weighed in this morning and posted it here, but that will have to wait for now.
Well, given how long the last two entries were, I'll keep this one short. Just wanted to get those two things out there. Hopefully making big, complicated chili this weekend, and continuing the popcorn experiment. Had a test run last night, but I want to try a few things before I post about it. Until then.

Better Late Than Christmas

2005-01-04T13:16:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what that title is supposed to mean, other than the fact that this took me way too long to write. Sorry about that.

I have to say, I think I've taken Christmas Eve dinner for granted during my life. I've cooked a lot of dinners, a lot of really complicated dinners, and I think I've cooked all but 2 or 3 of them very well. But I've never tried to prepare a fancy, formal dinner with the time constraint of having to be at baby Jesus's birthday party at 8:30. I found myself staring at the Polder thinking "Why oh why am I trying to have a 10# pork shoulder ready to eat by 6pm?" I guess the answer to that comes in the form of an amusing story. Actually, to paraphrase Grandpa Simpson, it's not so much amusing as it is long and complicated, so readers of this blog shouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

The whole thing started with my lovely and talented wife offering to host Christmas Eve dinner for her family while talking to her mother one day. I immediately took on the deer-in-headlights look as I started running through possible menus, having never been responsible for a major holiday meal like this before. I've made Christmas dinner for my family before, but it was tacos. This needed to be the real deal. I should also take this moment to clarify one point: I actually do like my in-laws. I just thought that should be specified before I went any further. I like them, I think they like me, we just have very different food likes and dislikes. That is what made this most intimidating, not the people themselves. Anyway, back to it!

The natural choice for meat was a pork shoulder, as there are very few things I would rather cook for a meal like this. The only problem was that the Boston butt in the deep freeze was almost 8lbs, and way too much for the 6 people that would be eating it. So the plan was to save the big one and go buy a smaller one for the dinner. For sides, we decided to make mashed sweet potatoes, broiled asparagus, homemade yeast rolls (prepared by my lovely and talented wife), and a baked potato for my father- (and one sister-)in-law, since they don't care for sweet potatoes. A spice cake for dessert, and we were in good shape.

The weekend beforehand, I went to the store to buy the (smaller) pork shoulder and made a rather alarming discovery: Harris Teeter no longer sells their own butcher-packaged pork shoulders. They now sell only Smithfield brand pork chunks, which are all fairly large and a good bit more expensive than the old "HT" ones. Of course, it was now too late to try and thaw the shoulder in my freezer, so decided to employ one of my old favorite mantras, "Fuck it." If I was going to have to pay almost $20 for pretty much exactly what was in my freezer, I was going to skip the Boston butt and just buy a full 10# pork picnic roast for half the price. And I did. So thbbppt, Harris Teeter.

I made a slightly North African-inspired spice rub for it, and put it in a honey and kosher salt brine. The rub consisted of olive oil, garlic, cumin, cinnamon, salt, pepper, paprika, toasted ground fennel seed, and cilantro, which I made in advance so the flavors could blend.

On the morning of the 24th, the day of cooking, I woke up at my father's house around 9. My father's house is about 35 minutes away from our house and is not where we were to be cooking the pork shoulder that day. This presented a slight logistical problem. I staggered downstairs for coffee and solid food, then we drove back to our house in a panic. As soon as I made it through the door, I cranked the oven to 550º and pulled the pork out of the fridge. I drained and rinsed the meat, then scored the layer of skin and fat on top into ~1/2" squares. Now, there are two types of people in this world: those who read that sentence and thought, "Eww, skin and fat!" And those who thought, "Mmmmm. . .pork fat crackers. . ." I am obviously of the second type. I slathered on the rub, and let it rest while the oven preheated.

Once it hit 550º, I popped the pork in (on a rack in a heavy roasting pan, gravy was not optional). 20 minutes at 550, and I began to fear I had overdone it. There was smoke coming out of the oven's vent, and I could smell slight a aroma of burning. I rushed to the kitchen as the timer went off and opened the oven. I was terrified (again) as a cloud of smoke and steam rushed out at me, but I had nothing to fear. The pork was a beautiful mahogany color, and the smoke was simply from the bubbling pork fat hitting the heating element in the oven. Read that sentence again. Now go smoke a cigarette. I put the thermometer's probe into the pork, dropped the oven to 200º, and sat back to wait.

The rest of the day was pretty simple, nothing overwhelming about mashing potatoes and broiling asparagus. Mostly just time spent cleaning up the house to get ready. Of course, it started getting late and some concerns were raised about whether or not the pork would be ready on time. The "raising" of these concerns mostly consisted of me babbling to myself while my lovely and talented wife tried not to laugh. Or scream. Couldn't quite tell, but I guess it would have depended on whether or not the pork was indeed ready to eat by 6. Thankfully, for my sake, she laughed. I cut it close, but it was ready almost on time, which is about as well as I can do. I made a roux in the roasting pan, and deglazed it with brandy. Added a little chicken stock to thin it out, and it was ready to go.

The flavors came out perfectly, and they were a wonderful pair with the sweet potatoes. Gravy was a little thick, but still quite good. But I think the best part of it all was the pork fat crackers. While carving the meat, I sliced off the little squares and make sure I still had some actual meat attached. It was amazing. The skin was crunchy, the hot pork fat in the middle was creamy, and the meat underneath was juicy and full of spiced pork goodness. I ate so many of those while carving, I didn't even go back for seconds on my dinner. I know the concept sounds a little iffy, but I have to recommend it. If people don't want them, they're easily sliced off. But, good lord, they are incredible!

Well, I hope all three of you readers out there had a great holiday and a happy New Year's, and I wish you the best in 2005. Stay tuned for the next project, which will be based on experimentation with the Professor's popcorn recipe! Until then.

Paella Night!!

2004-12-20T13:08:00.000-05:00

First, I have to say that I feel fairly good about how the whole thing turned out.
I pretty much just used the base recipe to get the procedure right, but I had to tweak a few ingredients. For one thing, we're not getting lobster tails anytime soon. For another, part of the fun was just seeing what people brought. We ended up with goat, andouille sausage (no chorizo to be found), crawfish, clams, mussels, and shrimp. I was not able to find Valencia rice, but I think the Arborio I found worked very nicely. I used chicken broth instead of water, definitely had more than 4 cloves of garlic, and doubled the tomatoes. And I added one secret weapon that I picked up from a jambalaya recipe: clam juice. Other than those items, the onions, peas, saffron, and parsley remained approximately the same. I did forget to cut the lemons, though, so I have about 6 of them in my fridge right now. Oh, well, one should never be without lemons.
The goat arrived in slabs, which was very exciting. Apparently my pal was allowed to enter the "exotic meats freezer" at Cliff's Meat Market, where he finally tracked some down. I don't actually know the lady who writes that blog, I just did a lot of chain-reaction web-searching for Cliff. Hell of a guy, who actually turns up in a surprising number of blogs. And the legend of Cliff grows. . .anyway, my bud is back there in the freezer where Cliff produces a frozen goat haunch. He takes it out to the bandsaw/meat-slicing-apparatus and proceeds to slice off 4 thick slabs of goat, then says "Ahh. . .lets call that a couple pounds." Great guy, I made my first butcher purchase ever from him. I think I was 10.
Well, the slab form forced some improvising, but we seasoned the meat with salt, pepper, paprika, and fresh oregano, then put them all in a baking dish. Some flat champagne and two bottles of under-ripe chile beer were poured in, and we popped it into the oven. In retrospect, I should have covered it with foil, but it was still right tasty.
The whole process of making paella is just about building layer after layer of flavor, and then letting all of those layers blend together at the end. You cook the sausage first, and then your meat of choice. Then you cook the onions, garlic, and parsley, which pick up the flavors from the sausage and the seasoned meat. Then you add the tomatoes, and then the rice which cooks with all of those other flavors before you add the liquid. I used more of a risotto method for adding liquid, doing it in batches rather than all at once. This was a technique choice, as well as being the only way I could keep my pan from overflowing. The recipe also said to wait and add the saffron when you return the meat to the pan, but I added it with the liquid. It's saffron, might as well get all you can from it. Most of the cooking time is spent stirring rice and adding more liquid, as the shellfish all cook rather quickly. Paella is supposed to have a layer of toasted rice at the bottom, but you do have to work to keep it from burning. The crawfish came pre-cooked, so we just steamed them with lemon juice & water to heat them back up. Shucked and ate a few, and then Erik, his lady Diana, and my cousin set about shelling the rest and pulling the meat for the main dish. Once the texture of the rice was almost there, we added the clams and mussels. Just tucked them down into the rice, and coming very close to spilling paella all over the cooktop, and let them steam in all that goodness. Once they all began to open, I topped it with parsley, green peas, crawfish, and shrimp. Cut the heat, sliced the goat, and stood back to see what people thought.
I have to say, this is a very visually impressive dish. And it's darn tasty, too. I think it carries a fair intimidation factor with it, and it does take a fair bit of work. But as long as you have the method straight in your head, and someone else is paying for all the meat, it's well worth the effort. My paella pan is no longer just a wall decoration, it has become a functional part of my kitchen arsenal. And now, for your viewing enjoyment, here is a picture of our paella we had in Barcelona, and a picture of my paella in progress:

Next up: The Mad Chef attempts to cook Christmas Eve dinner for his in-laws!

Saucetastic

2004-12-17T10:48:00.000-05:00

OK, so this is slightly old news, but still worth sharing. Maybe. I think. Doesn't matter, I didn't cook last night so this is all I have to talk about. Anywho. . .my boss and his wife came over for dinner this past Saturday night, and I was going to grill steak (and shrimp for my lovely and talented wife, who is still not a steak fan). I had already selected a large, lovely sirloin to cook for them, but he informed me that he would provide the beef. Not wanting to offend, I agreed. Friday night, he called to tell me that he was holding 5.01lbs of aged beef porterhouse, in the form of three steaks. My knees grew weak, I even swooned a little. Fortunately my lovely and talented wife was kind enough to steer me towards a seat, otherwise it might have been slightly embarrassing. Then it hit me: I have to come up with a sauce that is worthy of these steaks.

I figured I could go 2 ways with this, the simple or the complex. The simple was easy enough: Garlic, shallots, thyme, salt, pepper, paprika, butter, and brandy. Just popped that one on the side burner while I grilled, gave it the occasional stir. Safe, good, and would simply serve as an accent to the beef itself. But my soul wasn't satisfied, it wanted something to match the beef, as well. I wanted to start with the same base so they wouldn't clash with each other, so I started a pan with butter, garlic, and shallots. I added some fresh sage, rosemary, and thyme from the porch and I salted, peppered, and searched for inspiration to complete the sauce. That inspiration came from whence it so often does: Beer. More specifically, my blackstrap molasses porter. I grabbed a 12oz bottle from the fridge, and added it to the softened aromatics and herbs. A little worcestershire sauce to add depth, and I let it simmer while everything else cooked.
I had prepped a few veggies to grill, mostly the fan favorites: asparagus with oil, salt, and pepper, corn with rosemary-garlic butter, and sweet peppers and onions with a little more worcestershire. Then it was safe to unwrap the steaks.
I had been afraid to look upon them until everything else was ready, lest I lose control of myself and fling my panties at them like the rock stars that they were. I was wise to wait. These were more than just steaks. Any bovine on this planet would be proud of their noble death if they knew it would produce something like this. Dark red, slightly marbled, perfect. I was almost ashamed that I thougt I could make a sauce to match these. However, expectations were high, and I intended to deliver.
The steaks received only the olive oil, salt, and black pepper treatment before they went on the grill, and I actually had to grill them in two batches. My boss's wife prefers her steak north of medium, and he likes his around medium-rare & 1/2. I like mine to still be begging for mercy when I cut into it. I put theirs on at the same time, rotating for those pretty grill marks. Once those were done, I closed the grill and cranked up the flames. Using my watch to time, my steak received about 3 minutes on each side over high flame, and I nearly soiled myself. And, of course, I gave it pretty grill marks. I know they really don't effect the taste, but I really felt like I needed to do everything I could to do justice to these steaks. I let them rest while we tended to the sauces, and the moment of truth had arrived. The beer sauce smelled amazing, and I honestly think it was worthy condiment. My lovely and talented wife's shrimp (sauteed in the grillet with lemon, garlic, and shallot) were just right, the veggies did their thing as the sideshow, and the beef owned all.
I was, shamefully, only able to eat about half of the steak, but the rest became part of the two best sandwiches I ever had. Thin-sliced, rare beef on sourdough bread with leftover asparagus and peppers & onions, topped off with Basque red pepper mustard, and I relived the whole thing in my office on Monday.
Well, without the panty-throwing. Until paella. . .

"He's gonna fight! Daniel LaRusso is gonna fight!"

2004-12-16T09:33:00.000-05:00

I'm back! Mostly! A few trips to the ER, some morphine, percoset, vicodin, muscle relaxers, being confined to bedrest for a week, using up all my vacation time after I ran out of sick time (no extended holiday vacation this year, looks like I'll finally get caught up on my filing!), a cortisone shot, new anti-inflammatories, aquatic physical therapy, and a new medication that costs more than I make in a year (woohoo health insurance!!) later and I'm back in the saddle!!! Who knew how exciting Thanksgiving could be!?!?!?!? Anyway, enough of that.
The turkeys turned out great, but now they all want me to make them every year. That kind of backfired. Yams of Death rocked the house, probably the best batch I've made yet. I think the texture made the difference, as well as being a little more focused on the seasonings. Good stuff all around. Now, I'm getting ready for Paella Night. . .
We've got about a dozen people coming, and it looks like we'll have some interesting ingredients to work with. I heard a rumor that my best friend is bringing goat, and my cousin is planning to contribute crawfish. Plus we have two more pounds of mystery shellfish that I'll probably find out about when they walk through the door. I'm very excited by all of this, should be an excellent time. Now I just hope I don't screw it up. Never having actually made paella before, this is a slight concern. But I have been doing my research! Well, I just wanted to get this started again, but I must get back to work now. I will definitely report back with more paella developments! Until then.

Turkey Day Preview

2004-11-24T13:37:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note as I get ready for Thanksgiving. Currently I have a 31lb turkey soaking in brine according to the Professor's recipe , and two turkey breasts (boneless, as of this morning) soaking in their own individual brines. One is in a plain brine, and will be roasted with garlic herb butter. The other is in a soy-molasses brine with garlic and chiles and will be grilled with a fennel/cocoa/garlic/smoked chile rub. Top it all off with 10lbs of sweet potatoes that are ready to be mashed up for my signature "Yams 'O Death," and I'm a busy little boy right now. The YOD are definite trademark material at this point, with habañeros, molasses, rum, brown sugar, garlic, shallots, thyme, and spices (plus butter, never forget the butter), and I think this will be an excellent batch. Don't really have time right now to delve too far into the whole process, but I will try to pop in with something tomorrow.
On a future note, just sent out the Evites for a Paella Night party in December, and I'm very excited about the potential for this one. Nothing like requesting that people bring ingredients like "land mammal" and "shellfish" to make things interesting. Following the Taco Night Procedure (everyone gets a general ingredient category to bring, then they pick the specifics) for this one, that always makes thing fun. I like the challenge of not knowing exactly what I'm cooking until someone walks through the doorway with it. Also just discovered that the Evites have a feature for listing items you want people to bring, and they'll take them off the list as people select them. Neat little feature, I'm a big Evite fan. I'll stop whoring myself out for them now, though.
Well, back to work and trying to get out of here early so I can go celebrate my lovely and talented wife's birthday a couple of days early. Onward to Turkey Day!

I'm Still a Man

2004-11-15T16:50:00.000-05:00

OK, I just realized how girly that post sounded. Yes, I love strong coffee, dark beer, and straight whiskey, it just happens that I'm a sucker for the holidays. It's nice to have a mug of something the evokes that spirit without having to put up a 10' inflatable snowman that sings "Deck The Halls" on your front lawn, or having to cram all of your family members into one small room and make them pretend that they all like each other. I just thought it needed to be shared with the world.
That, and I can only drink the coffee at work. I need some variety.

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Tea Time

2004-11-15T13:21:00.000-05:00

I have to say, I'm not normally a huge hot tea fan. I love sweet iced tea, and I don't dislike hot tea at all, I just normally opt for coffee. Sunday morning at the grocery store, though, I picked up a box of this. Not sure what motivated me, but I just saw it there on the "seasonal products" kiosk at Harris Teeter and grabbed some. Maybe it's a desire for the joy of the holiday season, or maybe I just felt like I needed to get something since my lovely and talented wife was buying 8 boxes of the Pillsbury pumpkin spice bread/muffin mix that is only available one or two months out of the year. I have to say, this is really good. I actually didn't have any coffee yesterday, but I made three mugs of this stuff. I steeped it for a long time to get a stronger flavor, then just added a little bit of honey. Wow, it's like holidays in a mug. If you're looking for something to get you in the spirit of the season, break out some of this stuff. Didn't get to do much cooking over the weekend, mostly trying to get caught up around the house. I took down what was left of the garden yesterday, and the beds were white this morning. No snow, just a hard frost. Glad I managed to save one plant that turned out to still be alive yesterday, wouldn't have been today. Well, some culinary adventures ahead later this week, but nothing right now. Until then.

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A Keeper

2004-11-10T09:10:00.000-05:00

I often get inspired to cook things that, while tasty, aren't going to make it into my standard rotation. I like them, but I don't know how often I'll actually cook them again. Last night was not one of those. Last night was a keeper. As is often the case when I come up with these dishes, I was cooking for one. This is good, because it grants the freedom to experiment. While driving home and running a couple of errands, I took an inventory of what I had in the house. I knew I had 1 white sweet potato, some frozen (unseasoned) hamburger patties, half a sweet onion, some garlic, and half a bottle of wonderful jerk sauce that was brought to me from Canada of all places.
Before I get into the meal, I have to expound upon this jerk sauce. It's the equivalent of a Harris Teeter store brand, but this is the next best thing to homemade. It's got a great flavor, it's tangy, and it actually has some real heat to it. Normally I make my own, but I feel no shame in using this, especially on a week night. Very good stuff, bring yourself some back from the Frozen North, if you should find yourself up that way. Bring me a bottle, too, I'm almost out.
Now, back to the meal. I realized that I wanted to use the jerk sauce, but I had to find the application. Then it hit me: Jerk Shepherd's Pie.
Here's what went in:

1.25# ground beef
1/2 vidalia onion (diced)
4 cloves garlic (minced)
1 white sweet potato
1 cup frozen peas (still frozen, keeps them from overcooking)
butter
milk
salt
pepper
The Jerk Sauce (Sorry, had to link it again. It's that good.)

I peeled and cubed the potato, then boiled it until fork tender. While the potato was cooking, I sauteed the garlic and onion in a little olive oil. Once they were softened, I added the beef. After the meat was browned, I drained the fat and poured it all into a casserole. I added the frozen peas, poured on some jerk sauce, and stirred it all together. I drained the boiled white sweet potato, and mashed it with a little butter, milk, salt, and black pepper. Then I spread that on top of the meat, covered it, and popped it into a 400º oven for 25 minutes. Then I took off the cover, and put it back in for 5 more minutes. Let it cool for a minute, then scooped it into a bowl and dug in. I have to say, this one was just about perfect. I think a red sweet potato would have been too sweet for the beef, but it was a perfect balance to the jerk sauce. Highly recommended.

If you can't find white sweet potatoes (I get them at the Carrboro Farmer's Market from a father and son team, they're my sweet potato hook-up, red or white), I would use ground pork and red sweet potatoes. The pork will taste better with the extra sweetness, and the rest of it can go unchanged. But this one will definitely be making a future appearances on my table, and the whole thing was ready in less than an hour. That includes 30 minutes in the oven. Not too shabby for the man who can't get a dinner party served before 10pm. . .

I Love the Smell of Pork in the Morning

2004-11-05T11:50:00.000-05:00

Took me a little too long to get back to this, but I've been a little under the weather of late. Sorry, if anyone was actually waiting for it! The pork tacos ended up consisting of the following:

5.5lbs Boston Butt Pork Roast (trimmed of extra fat)
2 medium sweet onions, sliced thin
1 bunch scallions, sliced
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
2 heads garlic, minced
Juice of 4 limes
2 (15oz) cans black beans
2 cups uncooked white rice
~1 gallon tomato juice (fresh canned from my boss's cellar)
Cumin
Salt
Black Pepper
2 Fatalli chiles, minced

The flavor from the Fatallis was perfect, but I would definitely use more of them for a group that could all take the heat.
I sauteed the garlic and Fatallis, which I had run through the mini-prep, the onions, and the scallions until they started to cook down, then threw in the pork. Rolled it around for a little bit, just to add a little color, then added cumin, salt, and black pepper, half the cilantro, and the juice from 2 of the limes and topped it off with the tomato juice. I let it simmer (covered) for about 2 hours, then pulled out the meat. While the meat was cooling, I added 2 cups of white rice and the two cans of black beans (rinsed and drained), then brought it up to a strong simmer/weak boil (uncovered). I shredded the pork, and when the rice was done (about 15-20 minutes) I added the meat and the rest of the cilantro and lime juice back to the pot. Mixed it all together, then into a huge tupperware and off to the tailgate!
For serving, all we did was spoon it into a flour tortilla and fold it up. It was also great as a dip for fritos scoops. Not nearly enough heat, but I was cooking for the masses. I think it turned out great, seemed to be a big hit. I've got two tubs of it in the freezer, can't wait to find out how well it keeps! My only big recommendation to anyone trying this is to make sure that you stir the liquid well after you add the rice. It gets very thick, and it's easy for rice to burn on the bottom. In a perfect world, we would have had shredded cheese and lettuce to go on the tacos, and maybe some sour cream (I love sour cream, don't know why). But it was great as-is.
And, now, here's the plant that the chiles came from, it's the one on the left:

Pork Tacos!

2004-10-20T09:06:00.000-04:00

I love pork. I think it's one of the most versatile meats on the planet, and it is definitely my favorite to cook. While nothing beats a fine steak, you can just do more with pork. That beautiful steak may be a great experience to eat, the pork will always be more fun to cook. That's why I'm making pork this weekend for our football tailgate.
I've been attending my boss's tailgate for the past two seasons, and I don't feel like I've truly contributed to it. I've mostly showed up, hung out, drank their booze, and eaten their food. But this weekend, it's time for me to give back.
Now, the most critical thing to understand is that I am a die-hard fan of a university that really, really sucks at football. Basketball season is another story, but we mostly go to the football games for the tailgate itself. So I've got to make this one count.
I'm planning on making stewed pork tacos, and here's what's going in:

Boston Butt (of course)
Tomato Juice (Fresh, from home-grown tomatoes that my boss canned. Use canned crushed tomatoes if you don't have something like this, don't use canned tomato juice)
Onion (probably red, but maybe vidalia if they look good)
Garlic (lots, at least 1 full head)
Scallions (1 bunch)
Cilantro (some into the pot for cooking, some saved fresh for garnishing)
Lime juice (fresh, probably 3-4 limes)
Chiles (variety TBA, still trying to decide)

Those are the ingredients that I'm sure about, still debating some spices. Cumin, salt, pepper, maybe some oregano are all in the mix, but I want to keep it fairly bright-tasting, and too much earthy seasonings (cumin & oregano, mostly) can bring that down a notch. I'm probably going to do this the lazy way and just combine it all in a pot and put it on the heat. It's a 1pm game, so I'm going to have to get a pretty early start on this. Don't know if I'm going to have time to sautee and brown everything before combining it. If I don't brown the pork first, I'm planning to trim off that lovely layer of fat that sits on top of the boston butt. Don't really need that in the liquid. I'll cook it until the meat falls apart, then take it out and shred it. While I'm doing that, I'll let the liquid reduce down and thicken up, then mix the meat back in.
Planning to serve it with tortillas, but I'm still deciding between corn and flour. Corn is more traditional, and has more flavor, but they don't fold as well if you don't heat them first. Really don't want these to fall apart on everyone. We'll see on that, I'll have to report back on Sunday.
Toppings should be pretty standard, but the show will be about the meat anyway. We're going to get slaughtered this weekend, but at least we should be able to eat well!

Fun With Pasta

2004-10-19T13:46:00.000-04:00

Just have to say. . .I still hate the Atkins Diet. Starches are our friends, and I could never part with them. Like last night: we got home from the gym, and were just going to make pasta. I didn't feel like the standard jar tomato sauce, so I started digging through the fridge and cabinets. Here's what I pulled out:

fresh ginger
cremini mushrooms
lemon
1/4 vidalia onion
garlic
scallions
leftover potsticker filling

I ran out to the porch and came back with fresh mint, basil, and 3 chiles from my chilli tree. I put some canola oil in the bottom of my sautee pan, added the chopped garlic, vidalia, ginger, scallion, and chiles, then put it on medium heat. While that was going, I sliced up 4-5 creminis and chopped up the basil and mint. Once the pan got to a sizzle, I threw in the mushrooms and potsticker filling, added salt, and let it start cooking down. Not quite enough liquid, but a shot of rice vinegar fixed that. Once everything had cooked down pretty well, I added the juice from one lemon and stirred in the herbs. By this point, the angel hair was done and drained, so I combined it all in the pasta pot. Still a little shy on liquid, so I just drizzled some olive oil over it to keep it from getting sticky. Tossed it all together, and that's some damn fine fridge scrap pasta.
This is why the Atkins Diet is evil. Only starches have this power to support whatever crap you throw at them. Potatoes and pasta are just waiting to revive your miscellaneous ingredients. Speaking of which, I'm going to go heat up the leftovers. And Dr. Atkins can kiss my ass.

Fillin' The Freezer

2004-10-18T13:33:00.000-04:00

My lovely and talented wife had a great idea for this past weekend. We were going to mass-produce all of those wonderful freeze-able food items that are so great to have on hand, just spend a day or two working on it, and we would have them ready and available for months. I like this plan. This is a very GOOD plan. We just had to figure out what to make. That ended up being simple enough, we had already made two of the recipes before. But we decided to do potstickers, gnocchis, and apple tarts.
The gnocchis are great, and fairly easy once you get an assembly line going. We made a little over 5lbs of them, though, roughly 2-1/2 times this recipe. I don't mess with this recipe. I don't own the gnocchi board that it talks about, I use a plain fork, but that is really my only standard variation. You can mess with the sauce all you want, but you would have to be very careful about moisture levels if you added more flavors/ingredients to the gnocchis themselves. That's not to say that I don't fully plan to do thisat some point, I'm just not going to try it out when I'm making 5lbs of them. It did get me wondering about what a gnocchi board actually is, though, so I googled and found this. Seems like a neat little thing, but I don't think I can justify losing the space in my kitchen. Anyway, once you get in a groove, you can really churn these things out. Once they're all made, you just spread them on a baking sheet to freeze, then pop them off into freezer bags for storage. Cook them the same as fresh ones, just allow another minute or two for the thaw. Highly recommended.
For the potstickers, I start with the Professor's recipe. I have made it before, and it's very good. But I found myself wanting more garlic, ginger, and spice this time. So I made a double recipe, and added about a 1-1/2" knob of ginger (grated), five cloves of garlic (also grated, I had my microplane workin'), and I substituted 3 ripe jalapeños for the red bell pepper- omitting the cayenne. These jalapeños are fairly mild, so I'm not too worried about the heat being overwhelming for my lovely and talented wife, or our guests. Plus, they are scattered throughout almost 100 potstickers. For these, definitely line the cookie sheets with waxed paper before you put the finished dumplings on them. Then stick the sheets in the freezer until they're solid and repeat the bagging process. One thing I would add, though, is increase the amount of chicken stock to ~1/2c when cooking the frozen ones. Not necessary if you're cooking them fresh, but they dry out a little in the freezer and the extra stock helps keep them from being chewy. All around great dumplings, though, and you just have to trust some of the ingredients. They sound strange, but they taste great in the end.
For the finale, we made apple tarts. I have to admit, my enthusiasm waned a little for this one. I don't really eat dessert much, and apple tart isn't exactly what I go for when I do. But it is also a favorite of my lovely and talented wife, so that matter was settled. This is the recipe we used. Pretty simple, easy to mass produce, but it did turn out pretty darn tart. I would make sure that you use all of the cinnamon/sugar mixture, probably making an effort to sprinkle more between layers. But, all in all, still a success.
Now we have 5lbs of potato gnocchis, 100 potstickers, and 12 (we ate four) apple tarts all ready to go in the freezer. I think I could do this whole personal chef thing. . .

Chile Beer

2004-10-13T11:31:00.000-04:00

OK, the time had come. I had to try my hand at brewing chile beer. Not just any chile beer, but a roasted chile wheat beer. Here's the list:

6.6lbs of Wheat Liquid Malt Extract (a 60/40 blend with barley)
1lb Carapils (Dextrin) Malt
2oz Tettenang hops for bittering (these are great for the finished product, but they do smell a lot like feet on their own)
25 Jalapeños
5 Poblano chiles
5 Anaheim chiles
WYeast #3056 Bavarian Wheat Ale Yeast Blend

All of the standard homebrewing items were from American Brewmaster, a mighty fine place to buy your supplies. Huge selection, and very helpful staff. Now that I've made my plug for them, back to the beer!

I decided not to use aroma hops, as I wanted the beer to smell like roasted chiles. I'll know if I succeeded in a few weeks. Good time was had, my stepfather came over and helped out. Also discovered that my blackstrap molasses porter is the perfect beer pairing with Glenlivet 12yr, that's a beautiful thing. May have to test it out again tonight, though. . .

Well, must get back to work, but I'll leave you with this lovely image:

LOOK! I made. . .Something!

2004-10-07T13:58:00.000-04:00

Last night, I found myself unsupervised in the kitchen again. My wife had just been to the dentist, and her mouth was too sore for what I was planning to make. Soooo. . . .I was on my own. A quick scavenge revealed the following:
cooked chicken
celery
1 carrot
1/2 vidalia onion
garlic
flat-leaf parsley
5lbs of russet potatoes that I bought for $.98 on VIC buy
Some pre-shredded Italian cheese mix (I like it for pizza)

First things first, I cubed up 4 potatoes and put them in a pot. Covered with water, and onto the stove to boil. Then, I ran outside and came back with some fresh thyme (~5 sprigs), 1 ripe poblano chile, and 1 Harold's St Barts. I minced 4 cloves of garlic, thin sliced 1/4 of the onion, then put them in the bottom of a saucepan with a little canola oil. That went over med-low heat while I stripped the thyme leaves into the pan. I chopped up one rib of celery, and ~2/3 of one large carrot (I ate the rest, I like carrots). Into the pan with those, plus some salt to get the liquids going. Gave the pan a stir, then chopped up the chiles. Threw those in the pan, added a little rice vinegar, and gave it a good stir. The potatoes were getting close, so I drained them and dumped them into a baking dish, and I added a layer of the cooked, shredded chicken on top of the potatoes. Then I poured ~1 cup of chicken stock in with the veggies, ground in some pepper, gave it a stir, and upped the heat to a high simmer. After a few minutes to make sure the carrots and celery were tender, I poured that mixture over the chicken and potatoes. I spread out the veggies, topped with some pizza cheese, and popper it into a 400º oven for 15 minutes to bring it all together. Pretty dang good stuff, and I even got a little sniffage going from the Harold's St Barts. I'm about to go reheat some for lunch, we'll see how it does the second time around. My only problem is that I have no idea what to call it. Oh, well, maybe inspiration will strike during lunch.

Small Potatoes

2004-10-07T13:28:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to clarify that these were small potatoes, almost tennis ball small. If someone tried to duplicate this with full-sized, big 'ole russets, they'd have a lot of potato to not so much of anything else. Just thought I'd share.

Belize Chicken Salad?

2004-10-05T14:19:00.000-04:00

Sounds like a good idea. I was just on a chile pepper forum that I belong to, and someone posted a recipe for a Belize-style habañero sauce. I thought to myself, "that sounds tasty, what could I do with that?" The answer, of course, is to make chicken salad with it! I have gobs of habañeros from the garden, I just made chicken soup for my lovely and talented wife so I have plenty of chicken meat in the fridge, and the rest of the ingredients are pretty basic.

I will need:
Chicken
Habañeros
Carrots
Lime Juice
Salt
Vinegar (maybe, I'm still up in the air on this one)
Onion
Garlic
Mayo (Duke's, damnit, and don't you forget it)

If you remove the chicken and mayo, this is a recipe for hot sauce. If I keep the vinegar in, I may not add the mayo, just doesn't seem right. It'll depend on what feel I want to go for with it, and I'm just not sure yet.
I hope to make this tonight, but probably tomorrow. It's supposed to get cold tonight, so I need to dig up a few chile plants for the Winter, plus we're supposed to go out for dinner with some friends. I don't know where, but I know I'll vote for here.
More on the chicken salad later. . .

Ankylosing Spondylitis

2004-09-30T15:16:00.000-04:00

Ankylosing Spondylitis. This is apparently what I have. Not so thrilled about that fact, but at least I know why my body has been doing this for the past 10 years. So much for that dream of cooking for a living someday, but it can't stop me from making some damn fine food at home. So what does one do when faced with the diagnosis of a chronic illness? One plans one's father's birthday dinner, damnit!
His birthday was actually in June, but he's been across the pond all Summer. We got to see him when we went to Spain, but not really the ideal moment to have the b-day celebration. Soooo. . . .this Saturday he, his wife, my sister, her husband, and my wife and I will all be feasting in our humble home. He requested a pork shoulder, after hearing me babble about it (did I mention that we drank a LOT in Spain? At least, I did.), so I'm opting for my French-like method of preparation. At this moment in time, I have a ~5# Boston Butt soaking in a honey-salt-garlic-thyme brine in my garage fridge and getting ready for Saturday night. The slather should consist of dijon mustard, garlic, shallots, thyme, tarragon, salt, black pepper, olive oil, and lemon juice, all buzzed to a paste in the food processor. I'm sure something else will end up in there, but I haven't started drinking yet, so I don't know what it will be. I'll pull the Butt out of the brine Saturday morning and cover it in slather to marinate.
Now, the problem I faced is that my father and I are huge fans of spicy food, but the rest of our dining companions are not. So I needed to come up with some kind of spicy condiment to go on the pork. But what spice goes well with that blend of flavors? Texas Pete ain't going to cut it with something like this, it had to be good. So I decided to try my hand at making some kind of a relish or chutney, bound by what was in my cabinets and fridge. Here's what I ended up using:
1/2 a vidalia onion, diced
2 Inca Hot chiles (any yellow C. Baccatum works), minced
1 Harold's St Barts chile, minced
~1" knob of ginger, minced
3 sprigs thyme, leaves only
Honey
Salt & Pepper
Juice of 1 Lemon
Rice Wine Vinegar
Allspice, ground

I started off by sweating down the onion, chiles, ginger, and thyme, then adding some vinegar to deglaze. Poured a good bit of honey in, then stirred 'til it melted into the other liquid. Salt, pepper, allspice, and lemon juice next, then cooked down til it got syrupy, pulled it off the burner, and let it cool. It's been steeping in the fridge for a few days, I'm contemplating pureeing it with some fresh mint or basil before serving. Still not sure, though, I need to taste it against the slather before I make any more rash decisions. Pretty good stuff, though, nice burn with a little sweetness, ideal for pork. I just need to make sure the flavors don't clash, but they seem like they would get along.
For the side dishes, I'm doing the grilled ratatouille, and garlic-Parrano cheese polenta cakes. I'll make the polenta tomorrow, then let it set in the fridge overnight. On Saturday, I'll slice it into cakes and fry them in a little olive oil before serving. Hopefully I'll get some nice crispy bits on the outside.
Now, if you've never tried Parrano cheese before, I highly recommend it. The site is a little over-the-top sometimes, but this is some of the best stuff you can get for your money. It's much cheaper than true parmesano reggiano, but it has that same wonderful nutty flavor. Great for stuffed mushrooms, polentas, cream sauces, etc. Find some. Try it. Whole Foods carries it.
While you're at it, you should also try raclette. The cheese, not necessarily the complex devices for melting it. It smells like a seafood market dumpster on a hot day, but it tastes incredible. I used it in an omelette one morning, and my wife wouldn't come near the kitchen. But it's worth the stink, just trust me on this. Especially now that the weather is cooling off, and you could open the windows while it's melting. Take the chance, embrace the stench, live life to it's fullest. Possibly nauseate your spouse. This is all that I can offer to you. Until next time. . .

Worth Repeating

2004-09-22T13:28:00.000-04:00

Had to share something I made last week, too good to keep to myself. We had gone to visit my sister and fam over Labor Day weekend, and we cooked with them and two of their friends one night. I revisited the strip steaks with chimichurri sauce, and their friend made a ratatouille. We cooked up some cous-cous to go with it, and it was a very (surprisingly) tasty meal.
Now I use the word "surprisingly" because the only ratatouille I had ever had before this was a gloppy mixture of stewed vegetables. Underseasoned and overcooked, it made this a bad word in my mind for all of these years. But as I watched their friend work, I could clearly see the differences not only in ingredients, but in technique. To his distinct advantage, the man was born and raised in France, so he learned how to do this all properly, so I was eager to steal his method and see what I could do with it.
I started with the same veggie mix that he did: green peppers, zucchini, onions, garlic, tomatoes, and eggplant (had some fresh from the garden). But I wanted to find a way to make this on a week-night, and I wasn't sure if his method of cooking each vegetable individually in a skillet before adding it to a larger pot was the most efficient way, although it tasted pretty damn good. So I had the thought to try and grill the veggies, and just toss them into a pot on the side-burner when they were ready. I tossed the veggies with olive oil and kosher salt, then cranked up the grill. I used the grillet for the garlic cloves and whatever else needed to go in with them, depending on space. The whole process didn't take that long, just required vigilance on my part to keep from burning things.
I also chopped up some fresh oregano, basil, rosemary, and flat-leaf parsley to throw in the pot, as well. Once the veggies started to build up in the pot, and turned on the heat and poured in some white wine, plus added salt and pepper. Just for kicks, I threw in a pinch of saffron while it simmered. After I had all the grilling done, I brought the pot inside to cook on the stovetop. Covered, on low heat, it simmered away nicely while I pretended to work on it and really just drank in the kitchen. After it had cooked for ~30-45 minutes, we fired up some cous-cous to go with this one, too, as the combo was great last time. Put the cous-cous in the bottom of the bowl, ratatouille on top, and dug in with some sopping bread for back-up.
All in all, that was really damn good. My wife even said it was one of her favorites of anything I've ever made. What really surprised me was the rosemary. It's so easy for rosemary to be overpowering, but it adds something wonderful to this dish. I couldn't imagine removing it from the recipe. The key seems to be cooking everything separately, then combining with just enough liquid to prevent burning while it finishes. Wonderful stuff, and a welcome round of vegetable matter after spending the weekend eating fast food on the highway.
Also, the SoBe Adrenaline Rush energy drink? Tastes like ass. I'm normally a big fan of their products, but this one tastes like grapefruit-infused urine. Not so great, I'll stick with Red Bull (which also tastes like ass, just not as much) next time I try to drive cross-country on three hours' sleep. Until next time. . .

I used to write here, didn't I?

2004-09-21T14:13:00.000-04:00

Time to get back to that. Too long, too many meals have passed and been left unblogged. Some. . .that may be for the best, but most should have been shared. A week in Spain and Portugal got me off-track, and I just never quite recovered. But here we are again.
Where to begin? Now. Too much has occurred for me to try to recap it all, so I'll just pick up with the glorious present.
I'm working on getting past my obsession with complicated meals, trying to do things a little simpler sometimes. Not that I'm abandoning the ridiculous feasts, just realizing that I can cook a whole lot more stuff if I simplify some of it. I actually made chilli on Sunday without spending 3 days preparing for it. I stuck to the true spirit of the dish this time.

A coworker, who had the misfortune of leaving his freezer door ajar overnight, bestowed upon me a large chuck roast on Friday. I thought to myself, "Questionable chunk of meat? Chilli!!"
I trimmed it up, got rid of the more questionable parts, and cut it into chunks. After browning those in a pan with some oil and salt, working in batches and transferring the browned ones to a pot, I sauteed a chopped red onion in the leftover meat-ness. Dumped that in the pot, deglazed the whole thing with a bottle of questionable beer (left over from a party, not my own), then added a can of tomatillos (run through the blender first), and some Mexican spice rub that had been given to me. Salt, pepper, paprika, and cumin went in, then I let it simmer for a little while.
While this was going, I was also working on the next batch of beer, The Night Porter. Should be a solid, Robust Porter with a little touch of blackstrap molasses. Smells good through the airlock, it's bubbling away pretty happily right now.
After a little while, it became apparent that the chilli needed more veggies to it, so I started digging in the fridge. I found a little container of salsa that someone had brought the night before, so in it went. Still lacking, though, I received a fortuitous phone call from someone on their way to the house, and I asked them to pick me up a jar of salsa and some kidney beans.

************side note************

OK, I know how a lot of people feel about beans. Honestly, I could care less. I make chilli with them, without them, it just depends on mood and company. It just happens that my wife likes beans in her chilli, and she's cuter than you are. End of side note.

Once my buddy arrived, I threw in the beans and salsa and let it simmer a little longer. We made some cornbread muffins and grated up some sharp cheddar, and I was pleasantly surprised. Not quite the same flavor impact of most of the chilli I've made, but the ratio of effort:flavor was remarkable. There may be something to the lazy chilli. . .but I do advise using caution when selecting the meat itself. That can still make or break any pot of chilli, no matter how lazy you feel.

Wellllll. . . .back to work now, just feels good to get the old ball rolling again. I'll try to keep in touch better this time around. Really. Stop looking at me like that.

Done

2004-06-28T13:47:00.000-04:00

OK, I sent the registration forms in. Now I just have to wait until October for the classes to start. Feels pretty good to even start to try, though.

Put Up or Shut Up

2004-06-28T08:32:00.000-04:00

Before I get to the meat of this, I have to say how much I resent the Google ads at the top switching from heirloom tomatoes (which made me very happy) to the Atkins Diet, which will probably end up killing more people than any health fad in history (health, not beauty, just wait for Botox on that). And it's not just a resentment over them using my last name without my permission, it's that any "diet" that results in commercials for "Aspen Edge" which claim "surprising real beer taste" when it still has less alcohol are just plain evil. It has less alcohol, and it almost tastes like real beer. No. Just. . .no. That's wrong, and I refuse to have any part in it. Plus, they're driving down Krispy Kreme, and that's downright un-American.
Anyway, back to what this is about. I've decided to do something about this. It's just a small step, but I'm signing up for two continuing ed classes this Fall. One is about focusing your dreams into an actual business plan, and the other is about building a career as a personal chef. I found myself terrified last night as I filled out the registration forms, and I really wish our fax machine was working so I could send them in before I talk myself out of it. I've spent my whole life afraid to try, because I just expect to fail. But it's time now. I get that heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I think about going to work, and I can't imagine doing this for the rest of my life. It's time to face my fears and take a chance, see if I'm really as good at this whole cooking thing as I claim to be.
The classes don't start until October, but the choice to live my life starts now. I've actually got goosebumps. Yee-fucking-ha.

Simple is Good. . .Sometimes

2004-06-23T13:44:00.000-04:00

Last night was a good time, nothing fancy. I made twenty hamburger patties for a cookout tonight at which I am supposed to man the grill. I told them that I would be happy to play grill king, but I'd rather make my own burgers than use the pre-made ones you get in the freezer case. So, into the food processor (I always figured it would sound cooler to call it a "coup", but it just doesn't) went a head of garlic, some vidalia onion, and half a bunch of flat leaf parsley. I added just a little olive oil to help it blend, and then pulsed it down to a pretty green paste. I threw 5# of ground beef (80/20, any less fat content and they dry out on the grill) into a big metal bowl, then gave it a little salt and pepper. I scraped the green prettiness out onto the meat, topped it with a little worcestershire, and in with the (clean) hands. There's something about mixing up all that raw meat with your bare hands, it just feels right. I can't imagine any other way to do it. It also feels right to do it in the giant metal bowl, and I'm not entirely sure why. But it is not my place to question these things.
I divided the meat into 5 equal lumps, then split each one into 4 balls to patty up. They're currently sitting in the bottom of the garage fridge, waiting to go on the grill tonight. Aside from the burgers, I'm just grilling hot dogs and corn, so it'll be good. Simple.
Last night I made a Summer traditional for my family. You just cook up some pasta, then toss it with garlic, parmesan, olive oil, salt, pepper, balsamic, and fresh tomatoes and basil. Magic stuff.
A buddy of mine came over, he suffered his second water-related household disaster in the past few weeks and needed to do some laundry. We poured a 40oz of the Champagne of Beers into a frosted pitcher, broke out the beer goblets, served up some pasta, and watched this. Good times, great oldies.

For the Sticklers

2004-06-23T08:49:00.000-04:00

I want to clarify that I don't think my pork shoulder from Saturday is actually barbecue, that was just the feel I was going for. I know that you can't cook barbecue in an oven, I just don't own a smoker (yet). I do hope to remedy that in the not-too-distant future, though. . .

Yes I am twelve, thank you very much

2004-06-22T16:39:00.000-04:00

Just a quick thought: You haven't lived until you've heard Martha Stewart say the word "spatchcock." You just haven't. The only way it could be better would be to hear her discuss making "spatchcock at Shinnecock." Not that she has done that on tv, yet, but I really hope she does.

Pork Goodness

2004-06-22T08:28:00.000-04:00

Saturday around noonish, I fished a 6.77# Boston Butt out of the soy-molasses brine it had been soaking in since Tuesday. I rinsed it off, and applied a rub of garlic powder, brown sugar, kosher salt, dried thyme, unsweetened cocoa, paprika, NuMex chile powder, ground fennel seed, cayenne, ground pepper, and ground mustard. There were probably some other things in there, but that's what I can remember. I let it rest in a bowl on top of the stove for about an hour while I preheated the oven to 550º. After the oven was good and hot, I popped the pork on a rack in a baking dish (I really need to get a roasting pan) and stuck it in for 10 minutes. Then I dropped the heat to 250º and put in the probe thermometer set for 145º. I have full faith in the Professor's statement that pork is safe at 150º, particularily if it has been held over 140º for more than 15 minutes (this will kill any bacteria). Then, I waited.
I had made a sauce the night before. Two sauces, actually. My cousin had requested a hot one, I was happy to oblige. For the hot, I started with cider vinegar, molasses, tomato paste , thyme, garlic, soy, and habañero powder. A little ground pepper, and I just let it simmer. I'm honestly not quite sure what all went into the main sauce, I think everything. A similar base to the hot, but no hab powder. Some dark beer, ground mustard, NuMex chile, lots of stuff. I ended up adding a little commercial bbq sauce to help thicken it without adding too much pure tomato, and it worked out nicely. I let them both simmer for about ½ an hour, then bottled them up.
I had never made slaw before, so this was a little bit of an experiment. I got a head of red cabbage, and did some digging from the Professor's slaw episode. I decided to base it off of his cole slaw, mostly because I liked the idea of a buttermilk base. But I ended up subbing cider vinegar for the pickle juice he callse for, and I think the flavor suffered for that. I replaced the chives with grated vidalia onion, and the yogurt with sour cream, but the rest stayed pretty intact. Also, having had some more of the slaw yesterday, it definitely imporved with a little more time.
I tweaked the temp of the oven back and forth between 250º and 200º over the course of 7 hours, most of the time it was at 215º. During this time, I have to say that my house smelled pretty damn good. When it finally came out, I covered it to rest for 15 minutes and finish cooking. In hindsight, it needed more rest time. Juices still came spilling out when I tore into it. Also, I would skip the initial blast at 550º. While this does seal up the meat, it makes it pretty hard to "pull" it. I actually took the leftovers and chopped them the next day, then mixed them with sauce before freezing three bags of pork.
So, we ended up having sliced pork sandwiches instead of pulled, but that was ok. As Erik put it, it was almost better to have this chunk of meat to sink your teeth into. A more visceral bbq experience. We put down dish towels on the table as placemats, all the better to wipe your face with. Threw a few slices of pork on a roll, topped with the main sauce, then dribbled on a little of the hot. Cole slaw, top of the bun, dig in.

Damn.
That'll do.

Pan Steak, but no Waylon

2004-06-18T09:21:00.000-04:00

I've lost Waylon. I looked everywhere, and I can't find him. This distresses me. I had to substitute Whiskeytown. They're very good, and very talented, but Ryan Adams is a brat. A brilliant, gifted brat, but a brat nonetheless. Not the same, but I made it work. The steak helped, as did the giant, frosty mug of homebrew.
I cranked the oven to 500º and put the steak out to come to temp, salt and peppering both sides. I scrubbed up 3 med-sized yukon gold potatoes, and sliced them into eighths, lengthwise. I tossed the potatoes with some canola oil and steak seasoning, which brings my uses of this particular seasoning on steak to a total of one, and my uses of it on everything else to approximately ∞. I spread those on a baking sheet, cut side down, and popped them in the oven for ½ an hour. Turns out, I probably should have pulled them at 25 minutes, or gone lighter on the seasoning as it started to burn a little. Still tasted good, but just a thought.
I chopped some zuchinni, mushrooms, and vidalia onions, and heated up my chef's pan. I popped my sauteè pan (which they no longer make) on the stove over medium heat, and threw in a chunk of butter to melt. Once the chef's pan was hot, I coated the bottom with olive oil and tossed in the onions. When they started to sizzle, I hit them with some worcestershire sauce, which I've had a renewed interest in of late. It has so many great flavors already in it, but I definitely ignored it for way too long. It was one of my favorites to use as a child, though. After the onions started to cook down, I added the zuchinni and 'shrooms, plus a little more worcestershire.
When the butter started to sizzle, I put the steak in. I have to say, there's not much more beautiful of a sight than a chunk of red meat cooking in butter. . .and the Atkins Diet says that it's good for you (not that I'm on it, but I do like to mock it so). I gave it four minutes on each side, then put it aside (covered) to rest. I added a little more butter to the pan, gave the veggies a toss, then dumped two minced garlic cloves and one minced shallot into the steak pan. They started to brown pretty quickly, so I deglazed with some shiraz that I had handy. I let the wine reduce, whisking the bottom of the pan to get all that goodness, then added some cream. I let that come together, pulled the oven fries out, checked the veggies, and I was ready to rock. I had made so much food that I had to use a platter as my dinner plate (and, no, I didn't eat it all last night- I saved some for breakfast). I put the steak, fries, and veggies on the platter, then spooned the sauce over the steak and drizzled a little bit on the fries. I have to say that the pan-sauce on the fries was absolutely magic. Just stupidly good. So were the worcestershire veggies, they had this great, carmelized quality to them. They tasted like they belonged with a steak. And the steak was pretty freaking amazing, too. I must admit, one of the better meals I've made in a while.
I was most surprised by just how good the oven fries were, though the pan sauce helped. But I tried them before the sauce, and they were still really tasty. I got the idea from this lady, who seems to make them all the time. She annoys the hell out of me sometimes, but I still feel that I can learn much from her. So I watch, and I try to ignore the bubbly perkiness and dumb jokes that she makes over and over, and just accept the fact that the knowledge is what matters, not the teacher. She's a lot more attractive in the older episodes, too. But they say to never trust a skinny chef. . .
I'm feeling downright giddy about the pork tomorrow, even if I have no idea who is coming to eat it. I'm going to work on the rub and sauce tonight, so I can weed the garden tomorrow morning. At my sister's suggestion, I may try to recruit my 4½-year-old nephew to help. That'll insure that he'll never want to have one of his own. . .

Mental Salvation

2004-06-17T11:02:00.000-04:00

I sometimes wonder what I would do without food and Waylon Jennings.
I was reading a post on Figment Shifts that got me thinking:

"the night before last, i dreamed i went insane. i dreamed the whole process: before, during, and after. i was sitting at a table, by myself, eating in a restaurant. all of a sudden my mind just snapped. in the dream, i could see myself from the outside, and watch as my actions and words grew muddled and strange. it was confusing, not outright insanity but a drunken sort of bewilderment. in my dream, i was also experiencing this from the inside. someone approached me, to see if i was ok, and in that instant i had a choice. have you ever been awakened by someone, when you weren't completely asleep? you have a choice of coming fully awake and responding to the person, or pretending to be asleep and hoping that they will go away. if you choose the latter, and they do indeed go away, chances are you will soon be fast asleep. when this person, a stranger, came to my table to check on me, i had a startling moment of lucidity, the realization that i was on the very edge of sanity and it was not too late to go back to life as i had known it. i still had the presence of mind to know that all i had to do was snap out of it and respond. simply by making a personal connection with this other person, i would be pulled back from the abyss. i understood all this, in that instant, but i decided instead to let go, to resume my babbling, and my mind quickly followed me over the edge. from the outside it looked horrifying. from the inside it was sweet relief."

It made me think about how we all cope, and what happens when our coping methods get so extreme that we sacrifice our sanity.
I find myself treading that line more often than I would like, I wonder sometimes if I'll ever take the easy way out. Most people I know wouldn't be too surprised if one day I just snapped and lost it, but I can't do that. Maybe back when I lived alone, and had no responsibility to anyone else, I could have just quit one day when things got too hard and resigned myself to the depths of my own madness. My parents could have had me committed, and that would have been it. But, now, I have too much at stake. I have a wife, and a home, and our pets, and my garden, and I refuse to be the one who quits on them.
Don't get me wrong, I have a great life. The reasons why I tread that line are based solely on my own shortcomings, nothing more. There are just some days where it all feels like too much, and I don't know what to do anymore. Today is one of those days. So I'm going to head home tonight and take the steak I bought myself out of the fridge. I'm going to season the steak, cook it in butter, and make a pan sauce for it. I don't know exactly what the sauce will be, because I'm not quite sure what I'm seasoning the steak with. But I'm going to roast some potatoes, and cook up some zuchinni, mushrooms, and onions to go on the side, I'm going to pop a beer and pour it into a frosty mug, and I may even garnish my plate. Then I'm going to put Waylon in the stereo, and I'm going to remind myself that life is pretty good.
Quoth Waylon:
"Saints are just sinners that never quit tryin'/
losers are winners that picked the wrong day.
We're all just beginners when it comes time for dyin'/
so rest your mind easy, 'cause you'll die anyway."

Life is too short to let any of it get you down. You have to enjoy what you get, because death doesn't care. It won't wait for you to learn to be happy, it won't wait for you to reach your goals, it won't wait for you to make peace with others, or with yourself. Live every second, rejoice in the moment, don't be an asshole. And don't think that admitting you're an asshole makes being one OK, even if it is a good start. Like Robin Williams said about when he quit drinking, "I realized that I was still the same asshole, I just had fewer dents in my car." Waylon had a little less than 65 years on this earth, and I have no doubt that he got his money's worth out of every one of them, even if he may have had a little trouble recalling a few.

Gaucho Night

2004-06-17T08:20:00.000-04:00

I'm no cowboy, but it's fun to pretend sometimes.
Last Wednesday night, I had the chance to spend some time with my two best friends. Erik lives here, but our pal Baucom is at UCLA getting his doctorate in clinical psych. We see him maybe twice a year, so it's a big deal when he comes to town. You can imagine my feelings when I found out that he was arriving the day before I was leaving town for a wedding, and that I wouldn't be back until after he had left. It came down to less than 12 hours between when his plane landed, and when I had to be at work the next morning, so we had to make it count.
We picked up 2lbs of NY strip steak, some leeks, red bell peppers, chayote squash, and some of Hungary's finest. We added a few cigars, and we were in business.
I made a chimichurri sauce, slightly modified from the recipes I found. I used two bunches of flat leaf parsley, ~1 head of garlic, a few cayennes off the plants outside, a handful of fresh oregano, juice of two lemons, some red wine vinegar, olive oil, salt, ground pepper, and cumin.
Then we fired up the grill. We just cleaned the veggies and tossed them with olive oil, salt, and pepper before tossing them on over medium flame. They took a little while (chayote takes a long freaking time to cook), but it was a great time to stand around, drink some wine, and catch up a little. While we were outside, the steaks were coming to room temp inside with oil, salt, and pepper. No need to get fancy when you have chimichurri.
Once the veggies were through, I turned the grill up to high flame and closed it up. Once the grate was good and screaming hot, we threw the steaks on. I spread some chimichurri on top, flipped them after 2 minutes, spread some more chimichurri, flipped after 2 minutes, gave another 30 seconds and pulled them off. Nice, beautiful grill marks, nice, beautiful steaks. I let them rest for 5-10 minutes while I chopped up the veggies, then sliced them thinly across the grain. Tossed them with a little more chimichurri, and threw them in the middle of a platter with all the veggies. Damn, that was some good meat. It was actually a little done for my taste, but still pink. Simply beautiful.
People often ruin their meat by not letting it rest. They get impatient, cut into it as soon as it's off the grill, and all the juices run out. Plus, it doesn't get to finish cooking, so they throw it in the microwave or back on the fire, and cook it to death. I don't understand how you can spend the money on a steak, and then not wait five more minutes for it to be cooked properly. Shameful.
As much pride as I took in the steaks, I think the true prize of the evening was my lovely and talented wife's dessert contribution. Wow. That's all I can say about it, wow. I highly recommend trying this recipe, it's pretty amazing. There's simply no comparison with the conventional ones, this is a whole new level of yummy.
All in all, one hell of an evening. The next day was rough, running on ~1-1/2 hours of sleep. Plus our flight got delayed, so we didn't actually make it to our hotel in FL until 2am on Friday. At that point, I believe I may have transcended exhaustion. Once you get that ninth wind, it's all gravy. I hate that the time was so short, but at least no-one can say we didn't make the most of it.

This weekend I'm doing another pork shoulder. I'm going to attempt a bbq-esque, pulled-pork style. We'll make slaw, and potato salad, and maybe even some hushpuppies. Should be good times. It's been sitting in a soy-molasses brine since Tuesday night. Mmmm. . .

Garden Walks

2004-06-08T13:27:00.000-04:00

I like to walk through my garden, I try to do it daily. It needs to be done, to keep an eye on the plants and make sure they don't need water, fertilizer, mulch (which they do right now) etc. But the true beauty of it is just to look at the plants. They seem so static, so calm, but they're doing so much. It's amazing that something which seems to never move can grow 6" in a few days, and you never see it budge. I won't even try to expound upon photosynthesis, Bio 101 was a long time ago.
There are also subtle differences between the plants, it's like a little prize when you notice them. At first glance, a zuchinni plant and a pattypan squash look exactly the same. But then you start to notice the patterns on the zuchinni's leaves. They're look random, but they're pretty remarkable. They're almost like spiderwebs.
It's nice to spend just a few minutes to lose yourself in the plants, to notice the little things. Like the smells. Basil is an obvious one, and I can't resist rubbing the leaves when I pass so I can catch a whiff of it. But there's something about the smell of tomato leaves that just puts your soul at ease. I've never fully understood it, but I always like to get down there with the plants and run my hands through the leaves, just to smell that. It smells like life, and Summer, and the promise of tomato sandwiches that you have to eat over the sink and that make you thank God (or whoever you thank for things like tomato sandwiches) that you grew up somewhere that appreciates the poetry of one thick, red slice between two pieces of white bread with a little salt, pepper, and Duke's Mayonnaise.

Taco Night

2004-06-08T10:45:00.000-04:00

Taco night was a success. Good times, good friends, great oldies. When I went to the store in search of meat, I found ground sirloin on special and grew very excited. I picked up two pounds of it, plus 1.25# of ground, lean pork. I'll add my own fat, thank you. Erik, who was assigned seafood, came through with a beautiful monkfish fillet, and thoroughly trumped all other guests in the interpretive ingredient category. Although, my cousin was foiled in his search for Queso Oaxaca by the poor selection of our local supermarkets, so it's not his fault. He did contribute traditional taco know-how from his semester in Mexico and taught us the "right" way to prepare them. Apparently, you should serve the taco meat in a warmed corn tortilla with nothing but cilantro, white onion, hot sauce, and a squeeze of lime. As much as I love all of the other toppings, it's pretty darn good like that. Our friends Liesje and Chris won the prize of most thorough contribution, by bringing chopped lettuce and tomato, bean dip, and guacamole (and possibly something else that has slipped by me, there were a lot of containers). My lovely wife's sister and her boyfriend weren't given much room to work, as they were assigned the tortillas and taco shells, but they were coming almost straight from work. Somebody has to bring those.
I made a fresh hot sauce that morning, with chiles I had picked ~1 hour before I used them. 45 cayennes, some fresh thyme, juice of one lemon, fresh garlic, cider vinegar, salt, pepper, and water. I let it simmer on the stove for about an hour, then ran it through the blender. I strained it through a mesh sieve, and bottled it. Probably won't keep too long in the fridge, but it probably won't last too long, either. I marinated the monkfish in lemon, cilantro, oil, salt, garlic, and pepper, then seared it up. After it was browned, I popped the pan into a 400º oven for ~7 minutes to finish it. After removing the fish, the marinade went into the pan to cook down to a sauce. Erik chunked up the fish and poured on the sauce, then hit it with some fresh lime juice. Good times.
Then, the meat. I took a head of garlic, fresh thyme, fresh oregano, and a few sage leaves. I threw them in the mini-prep with a little oil and salt and buzzed them down to a mash. I started that in the pan over low heat with a little more oil, and let it go until it sizzled. Then I threw in some finely chopped vidalia onion, and some thin-sliced shitake mushrooms. I realize that my tacos deviate heavily from Mexican tradition, but I'm not Mexican, so I have no tradition to offend. Once all the veggies were cooking down nicely, I added the meat. There's something magical about that moment when meat hits the pan. You know it's still raw, and you know you shouldn't eat it, but the sound and the smell are so enticing that it's hard to resist. I broke up the meat and stirred it in with the veggies, letting all those flavors blend. Then I threw in the dry mix. I used cumin, pepper, paprika, ground NuMex chile, cayenne, and a little bit of unsweetened cocoa powder. Just wanted a little more richness to the flavor. Once that was all mixed in and cooking down, it was time for the secret ingredients: red wine vinegar and soy sauce.
I firmly believe that soy sauce is one of the most underappreciated ingredients in the world. It brings the saltiness that is so essential to enjoying the other flavors in the dish, plus it provides this incredible depth of flavor. I usually have 2 extra bottles of it in my cabinet, just because I use it in so many things. And I do use the low-sodium, which tastes even better, in my opinion. Wonderful stuff, experiment with it.
We put it all together, and most folks did try the traditional-style tacos (and thought they were pretty damn good). We pulled chairs out onto the porch, poured lots of beer from the mini-keg that my cousin brought, and felt good about life. We had just watched an almost Triple Crown winner fall short, but we had friends and good food (and lots of beer). Although, my cousin and I both had money on Birdstone.
We finished the meal with an incredible devil's food cake topped with homemade cream cheese frosting, courtesy of my lovely and talented wife. There were only two small pieces left, and I just ate one of those last night.
After the meal, I sat on the porch with my friends, drinking and smoking cigars. Hard to find much wrong with the world at that point. I even serenaded them with what was called "the most disturbing rendition of The Battle Hymn of the Republic that I've (Erik) ever heard."
No matter how loudly the voices may speak, they can never speak louder than your friends.

Of Food and Life

2004-06-03T09:37:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder why food and cooking are so important to me. I know my general love of food coupled with my obsessive nature are a big part of it, but that doesn't quite explain why they matter so much.
I've touched on the fact that they give me a way to relate to other people that lets me circumvent my social awkwardness, and I know that's a big part of it. But I use cooking as my security blanket. When I'm stressed, unhappy, angry, etc., I always feel better when I make dinner. When I feel overwhelmed, cooking helps me relax.
Maybe it's because I'm actually in control when I'm in the kitchen, and it's the one aspect of my life where people actually realize and acknowledge that I know what I'm doing. It's nice to have something where people trust your abilities. It's not that I shouldn't be questioned, by any means. For God's sake, my motivations rarely make sense, and I'm usually in need of someone to put me back on track. But I do love the feeling I have in the kitchen, that I do this better than anyone I know. Unfortuantely, this means I get a little touchy sometimes about my food, and that is not a good by-product. As an already insecure person, I know I blow it out of proportion, so I am trying to work on that. But, when it all comes down, I just cling so tightly to food and cooking.
I define myself through my food.
I used to define myself through sports, but it's much better this way. I was never that talented, just athletic. Now, I sometimes have to use the cane that I received as a 24th birthday present to get around the house. Not so athletic. After sports ended, I defined myself through theatre. It's an interesting way to define yourself, by pretending to be someone else. But it works when you're not sure exactly who the hell you are to begin with. But that is over, too. A marriage, a house, a garden, and the pets all need time and attention (they deserve it, too). Time and attention are in short supply when you throw yourself into a performance.
So, that leaves me with food, and I'm OK with that. Some days it feels like food is the only thing I have, the only thing that works the way it's supposed to. On other days, it's the perfect compliment to make the day complete. Either way, food is more than sustenance. Food enriches my life, and I try to use it to improve the lives of others. There is history to food, there is science to food, there is art to food, and there is poetry to food. Food is at the root of culture, and it helps share that culture with others. It brings people together, and it can comfort you when you're alone. And I'll stop being so dramatic now.
I wish I hadn't been too afraid to pursue a career with food when I had the chance, but I was. Erik posted a quote from a friend of his here that has been in my head the last couple of nights when I was staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out how I was ever going to become something that people respected. It said "all other things being equal, you should choose the option that scares you the most." And I realized that this quote lays out exactly what I did wrong. When faced with my fears, I backed down. I tried to play it safe. So here I sit, with no college degree, no career, and no idea what I would choose to fill those voids. My personal life is a success, the people in my life are exceptional. I have a wonderful wife, a loving family, and great friends. But I will always feel like I have failed my potential until I do something with mysef professionally. But I will always have food.
So when I lay awake at night, and can't sleep because of the knot in my stomach and the pain in my body and the voices in my head that tell me I have failed and will never be anything more than a number working a desk job for the largest private employer in the state of North Carolina, I will think of taco night, and pork shoulders, and the look on peoples' faces when they take that first bite of something extraordinary, and know that I was able to give them that moment. When I can do that, I can tell the voices to go fuck themselves, and sometimes I can sleep.

Zucchini Roasting On an Open Fire. . .

2004-06-01T08:31:00.000-04:00

Well, good to be back at work where I have time to write. Saturday was truly a food event, I'm kind of proud of it. We built a charcoal fire in a brick pit to cook our veggies, and broke out the fryer for the meat. We threw the corn directly on the coals with the husks on, just trimmed them a little to prevent them from catching fire. We chose to call this "Native American Style," although we have no idea if our nation's indigenous people actually cooked corn like this. But, I guess after a few of these, it sounded good enough. I made a chile-lime-garlic butter to pour on the corn, and it was pretty amazing. The corn got just a little carmelized through the husk, and the lime helped accentuate that sweetness. Plus, it's hard to go wrong with chiles and garlic. I used ground New Mexico chiles for the butter, tons of flavor and not too hot. Good stuff. I marinated the zucchini in olive oil and worcestershire sauce, then put it on the grill. Ended up having to wrap it in foil to help it cook through, but it was still some tasty stuff. Nice, easy combination.
Then, the meat. I took some catfish fillets and soaked them in buttermilk with a little more NuMex chile powder. After a couple hours, I drained the fillets, sliced them into "fingers," and rolled them in cornmeal, salt, pepper, thyme, and (you guessed it!) more chile powder. Into the fryer for 3 minutes, and they were beautiful. A little hot sauce, and those were magic. Hard to beat fried catfish, I think I ate a full fillet while I was standing there. Also did chicken wings again, too good to pass up. I made a sauce with dried, toasted ancho chiles for those. I reconstituted the chiles, then chopped them into a pasted. I sauteed almost a whole head of garlic, then added the chile paste and cooked a little longer. Next, we added molasses, balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, thyme, pepper, and then the water from soaking the chiles. I cooked that down until it was nice and thick, adjusted the seasonings, and tossed the wings in it. Mmmm. . . Suffice to say, no leftovers.
And, of course, the dessert. This was Erik's baby, I just tried to help out. We picked up two huge, red papayas at the store, and decided to use them as serving vessels. After scooping out the seeds, we chopped one into chunks and threw it into a pan. Erik cracked open a coconut and poured the "milk" in with the papaya, then cooked it all down. He broiled the other papaya to get some different textures going on. All of this was to be served with something that I've honestly never seen before, and I wasn't so sure about it at first. But, all the more reason to try it. He took a carton of vanilla ice cream, scooped it out into a bowl, and mixed in a little good balsamic vinegar. I never would have thought of adding balsamic to ice cream, but that was pretty good. It also gave it a great balance to the sweetness of the papaya. I regret that I ate so much catfish that I could hardly touch the ice cream, but I will have to try that again in the future.
All in all, a very successful event. Grilled veggies, fried meats, the world was in balance. We had a good crowd, we ate outside, and we had plenty of beer. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night.

Red Rice Update

2004-05-27T08:04:00.000-04:00

OK, my kind and loving sister dear was good enough to send me the link for the rice mix I used the other night, as well as for the incredible stone ground chile mustard. And here it is. Still working on the concept for the catfish chiles rellenos, I'll update this weekend. Last night I got home late, I was participating in this. So I just made a quick angel hair with sauteed mushrooms, garlic, spring onions, and sage. I threw in some chicken stock, salt, pepper, ground tabasco chiles for kick, and the juice of one lemon. Tossed it with the pasta and topped with some fresh grated parmesan, and that's some good late eating. Made enough to take for lunch today, too. Well, that's it for now, and I'm just reheating frozen chili tonight. But I'll be back when the chiles rellenos develop. Until then. . .

A Vision of the Future

2004-05-26T10:23:00.000-04:00

Last night was a simple meal, I had to get some things done in the garden. So I just used a red rice mix that my sister had given me (and I apparently lost in the back of a cabinet). It's from some market in Charleston that I've forgotten the name of, and apparently their stuff is pretty darn good. The stone-ground chile mustard from the same folks lasted all of a week. But, not being able to leave anything alone, I had to mess with the rice a little bit. I took the leftover pizza toppings from Saturday and mixed them in when I added the rice. The juice of half a lemon added a little brightness to it, and I just cooked it to the package directions. I have to say it was pretty tasty, especially for something that cooked while I was outside planting. There is certainly something to be said for taking the easy way every now and then.
But the main reason I'm even bothering to post today is that I received a vision of what I have to cook on Saturday night. I'm going to do a little fishing with a buddy of mine (and presumably not catch anything), then we're going to whip up some grub. If we actually do catch anything, I may have to alter the vision a little. But, for now, I'm planning to pick up some catfish fillets. And that sparked the vision. . .fried catfish chiles rellenos. I figure I'll slice them into nuggets, then do a cornmeal breading and fry them up. Then I'll mix them with some cheese, probably sharp cheddar or monterey jack, and maybe seasoned rice and stuff them into roasted poblano chiles. I'll have to use the fryer for the chiles, too, but that's quite alright with me. I'll have to refine this as the week moves on, but I'll definitely update and report back with the final outcome. Until then. . .

Broccoli Soup for the . . . Stomach

2004-05-25T09:49:00.000-04:00

Last night was something new. My lovely wife came home from work feeling sick and promptly went to bed. This brought the challenge of making something tasty and comforting, so I stepped into the kitchen. I grabbed the baby yukon gold potatoes that I had picked up at the farmer's market on Saturday, and washed them, then put them in a small baking dish. I had originally planned to roast them, so I tossed them with olive oil, kosher salt, ground pepper, 4 crushed garlic cloves, and some chopped fresh thyme. Into the oven at 400º for 40 minutes they went. I did split them in half and put the cut side down in the garlic-oil for the last five minutes. At this point, I decided that I should figure out what else I was planning on doing with these potatoes. I thought about making a cheese sauce to put over them, and serving them with broccoli, so I started thawing some chicken stock (the last container, I need to make more soon) and shredding some cheese. As I melted the stock, I realized that broccoli-cheese-baked potato soup sounded more ideal, so that became the plan. I grated a big chunk of NY sharp cheddar, then mixed in some shredded pizza-cheese mix from the bag (I know, it's sad, but it's just so convenient). While the stock continued melting, I started on a roux so that I could keep the fat content down. I melted ~2-1/2 Tbsp butter in my large saucepan, then mixed in 2 Tbsp flour, some garlic powder, dried tarragon, and grated nutmeg (just a little). I kept it going over low heat until it started to smell a little nutty, then I began ladling in chicken stock (which had boiled at this point). The potatoes came out of the oven, then I quartered them and spread them on a baking sheet, skins down. I sprinkled grated cheese over them and popped them under the broiler. The idea was for the potatoes to take the place of the cheesey bread that is usually served on top of broccoli-cheese soup, and I think they did pretty well. Once the stock/roux had come to a light boil and started to thicken, I began to whisk in the cheese.
I have to note here that I love my balloon whisk. It's not much good for beating eggs, or mixing batter, but it's impossible to beat for making polenta, or whisking cream sauces, or mixing melting cheese into stock.
I melted in all the cheese, and pulled the slightly-browned cheesey potatoes out of the oven. I had microwaved some frozen broccoli, which I placed in a layer at the bottom of the soup bowls. I ladled the cheesey-broth over the broccoli, then placed the potatoes on top. Voila! My first attempt at broccoli soup was done.
I feel fairly good about this effort, although I didn't cook the broccoli enough. It's so easy to turn frozen vegetables into mush when you cook them, that I erred on the side of raw. I don't mind it, I'd much rather have a crunchy vegetable. But I would recommend checking the larger pieces of broccoli to make sure that they're tender before they go into the bowl. The potatoes made a nice touch, though, as they added some crispiness to the dish. And slightly browned cheese is a wonderful thing. The roux did a great job of thickening the stock, allowing me to add a lot less cheese or cream to achieve the right consistency. I would skip the pizza cheese in the future, and just stick with all sharp cheddar. The soup just needs a strong-flavored cheese, since you're not adding as much of it. But I feel it was an overall success. I would say that I'll try it again soon, but I need to make more stock.
And that will be another post. . .

And, Behold, It Was Fried, And He Saw That It Was Good. . .

2004-05-24T11:34:00.000-04:00

OK, so I broke in the fryer Saturday night, and it is incredible. The chicken wings were so crispy that they made little "tink" noises when they hit the draining rack. Amazing stuff, and really easy to use. Plus, since it controls the temperature digitally, the oil stays hot enough to keep the food from getting greasy. Beautiful. I think some fried catfish may be in order this weekend. . .but that's another post. I did two sauces for the wings, honey-mustard and a concoction yet to be named. The honey mustard is my standard recipe with dijon, tupelo honey, lemon juice, garlic, fennel, salt & pepper, and olive oil. There are probably a few things I left out, but that's the basic recipe. The other sauce. . .that was fun. I took garlic, red onions, fresh thyme, two of these, a few of these, and one or two of these, and then I buzzed the whole thing down. I sauteed that in some canola oil, then added chicken stock, soy, molasses, apple cider vinegar, and a little ground pepper. After the wings had been fried and cooled, I tossed them in a bowl of sauce and plated them up. 3.5# of chicken wings, gone in less than 10 minutes. And only 4 people were involved, one of whom only ate 5 wing pieces. Good times. Those will definitely make a repeat appearance.
Unfortunately, the pizza was a slight letdown after the wings. It tasted good, the toppings were delicious, the duxelles worked perfectly to add mushrooms without the big chunks that don't always cook through (in case your wondering, the duxelles consisted of cremini mushrooms, shallots, red onion, garlic, fresh thyme and oregano, and a little squeeze of lemon at the end of cooking). But there was one problem. Apparently, it's very important to check the date on the packet of yeast you're using. My buddy Erik is now referring to it as the "Passover Pizza." It tasted good, it just had absolutely no rise. Kind of dissappointing, but still pretty tasty. Any time there are no leftovers, I can't be all bad. We served it all up with the champagne of beers, and I think we had a pretty darn tasty meal.
Sunday night, I got inspired by a cooking show on PBS. He made a kaffir lime leaf-soy syrup, and used it on 4 different dishes. I felt the need to make something complicated. Of course, by the time it was done, I hadn't made anything like his dishes (although kaffir lime leaf and soy sauce were both used). I took two chicken leg quarters, and coated them with an Asian spice rub that was given to me. Then I chopped up two jalapeños, four cloves of garlic, and one spring onion. In a sauce pan, I melted some chicken stock, then added soy, rice wine vinegar, and two sliced kaffir lime leaves, and left it to simmer. I seared the chicken in the pan, then removed them to a plate. I sauteed the garlic, chiles, and onion in the chicken pan, then deglazed with the liquid I had going and placed the chicken back on top of this. I covered it, and let the chicken cook through with the yummy stuff underneath. For a side dish, I cooked up some rice noodles, then tossed them with soy, rice wine vinegar, sesame oil, wok oil, shredded mint, and sliced Thai Sun chiles. Lately, I've really enjoyed using fresh mint with chiles. They just provide such a great contrast to each other. When the chicken was done, I discovered that I had not added enough liquid to the pan. Even with the lid on, too much had cooked out. All those tasty items in the bottom of the pan had cooked into an overly-carmelized goop. Had I been making a soup, I might have tried to revive it, but it wasn't happening this time. Soooo. . .into the sink to soak for the pan, and I plated up the chicken and noodles. Nice, cold beer on the side, and that wasn't a bad way to end a weekend. Of course, the after-dinner cigar and whiskey didn't hurt, either. Too bad it's monday again. . .

Like Sands Through an Hourglass. . .

2004-05-20T12:16:00.000-04:00

I realize that I often measure my life by the food I prepare, and how long it has been since I prepared something of significance. Last night, I cooked the other half of the Butter Burger Experiment which I had kept in the deep freeze. They were very good, but not culinarily satisfying. Tonight should be better, but still not the culinary event that I crave. I'm grilling herb-marinated chicken with yellow squash and radicchio, pretty simple. It was a little tricky to judge the flavors of the marinade while balancing it with my coffee this morning, but I do like to live on the wild side.
I guess that this is my method of validating my existence. When I've cooked an exceptional meal, I feel a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. This is not a sensation I regularly receive through my work, so maybe that's why I'm so driven to achieve it in the kitchen.
I do feel good when I think about this weekend, and the pizza and hot wings I'll be making. Even though the souls of the dishes are simple, the inclusion of specialized equipment (the aforementioned fryer and pizza stone) makes it feel bigger than it is.
But, I truly look forward to the first weekend of June because of Taco Night. This is another simple dish that can be so much better than what most people experience, just by making it yourself. Plus it's a wonderful way to bring everyone together.
We invite everyone and assign them an ingredient to bring. We'll watch the Belmont Stakes, then combine it all into a pretty damn good meal. It's amazing how you can create that feeling of community through the preparation of something so simple and so often bastardized. The beer helps, of course.
It's like a pot-luck, but we're all preparing one dish. Well, I'm preparing it, but everyone else is selecting ingredients. You also get the chance to try things a little differently when other people are making the selection, so we try not to get too specific about the ingredients. Let people use their imaginations, rather than just giving them part of your shopping list. Maybe I over-simplify it to say that this one meal can unite a group of people, but I believe in it. Food is fellowship. And it's a fellowship that doesn't put you on the spot to say clever things, or work the room. You just make good food out of the ingredients that people bring, and you let the tacos do the rest.
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Thrill of the Grill (toys, that is)

2004-05-18T10:06:00.000-04:00

Last night I got to break in another of my birthday gifts, and it may be one of the greatest inventions ever. I received a grill skillet (or "grillet," as I like to call it) from my lovely wife, in addition to the aforementioned pizza stone & peel plus assorted other kitchen goodies. It seems so simple, but it has changed my grilling.
I always had to grill my veggies whole or in large chunks, to keep them from slipping through the grate. But no more. Last night I chopped up zucchini, mushrooms (quartered), and red onions, then tossed them with olive oil, soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, garlic, and ground pepper. After marinating my chicken in balsamic, olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic and honey (thank you Mr. Batali for the inspiration), I tossed the chicken on one side of the grill, and the grillet on the other. After a minute to heat, I dumped in the veggies, and behold the flames! It was great, I grilled my chicken, and tossed the veggies in the grillet, cooking the whole thing right there. And every time I shook the pan around, oil fell through and shot up more fire! So I got chunks of fire-roasted veggies, plus my crispy grilled chicken all in one shot. Much happiness.
Granted, this is not a new invention, and it's pretty simple, too. But I just didn't realize how well it worked. The handle stayed cool, and I was able to close the lid with it sticking out thanks to the low connection point with the grillet itself. For anyone who enjoys grilled veggies, I highly recommend it.
Nothing on tap tonight, going to a baseball game. I guess that means hot dogs, which could be worse. Saturday night I'll be trying my hand at pizza again, as well as hoping to break in the new fryer that I also received as birthday gift. Mmmmm. . .fryalicious. . .
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That's Amore!

2004-05-17T11:59:00.000-04:00

Haven't been too adventurous lately, just grilled chicken and a few pasta concoctions. Although I did discover that angel hair pasta with peas, fresh mint, cayenne, garlic, and a little butter and parmesan is pretty much magic (not to mention I was seated and eating before my wife had her frozen pizza out of the oven).
I did make a return trip to the greatest mexican restaurant ever for a Yucatan-style soft shell crab sandwich with "Yucatan slaw," black beans, and habañero mayo. It was incredible, plus I scared a passing patron by making the crab wave it's claws and say "help meeeeee." Always good times.
Last night, though, I got to try something new. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I've never made my own pizza from scratch, but I have always wanted to. I've used pre-made crusts before, but never the real thing. And then, on Saturday, my wonderful wife gave me my birthday presents. Lots of cool kitchen toys, a very nicely-framed picture of us, and. . .a pizza stone and peel. It was set, I would make my first attempt at pizza Sunday night for dinner. I wanted to use my hero's recipe for pizza dough, but it had to rise in the fridge for 18-24 hours (and it was Sunday morning when I found that out), so I settled for the recipe that came in the box. I was busy doubting it, but proceeded unafraid. I'm not much of a baker, and dough is slightly intimidating, but I can't even begin to explain how easy it was to make using this (in Empire Red, that is). A little mixing, a little kneading, and a little rising while I chopped toppings. I went for mushrooms, red onion (thin sliced), chopped garlic, sweet and hot red peppers (Marconi red and Fresno, for those keeping score), sliced andouille sausage, mozzarella, provolone, and parmesan. I threw a little chopped basil, oregano, and thyme (from the garden, of course) on top of the sauce, for good measure. The sauce was from a jar, so I felt guilty, but the herbage helped assuage that.
I quickly discovered that I may have over-worked the dough, as it kept contracting when I tried to spread it into a crust. But the two of us eventually reached a compromise, resulting in a fairly pizza-like shape. I was working on the peel, which I had dusted with cornmeal before I started. I don't know if that affected it at all, but they say you have to dust it or the pizza won't come off. I brushed the whole crust with olive oil, then spread a thin layer of sauce. I topped that with the garlic and herbage, then a hefty layer of mozzarella and provolone, with a little parmesan on top. Next, mushrooms, onions, peppers, and sausage (in order), topped with a little more parmesan. Figuring I had nothing left to lose, into the oven it went onto the hot pizza stone. For dough that kept contracting back on itself on the peel, it sure didn't want to come off onto the stone. I had to help it along with a spatula, but no major catasrophes.
I checked back on it with about five minutes left, only to discover a crust of mammoth proportions. It looked like a baguette had been wrapped around my pie. I was no longer feeling so optimistic. When the cheese was bubbly, and the crust was browned, I slid the peel under it (again, helping with a spatula) and removed it from the stone to a cutting board. Then, after five of the longest minutes of my life, the moment of truth had arrived. I tapped the crust with my pizza cutter, and it made a sound not unlike knocking on a door. Optimism declined even further. I cocked my arm back, and stabbed the cutter into this gargantuan leavened lobe, only to discover the soft crust within. optimism was returning. I cut the pizza into eight slices, then served them up for our awaiting guests. Always a good sign when you have to scoop the cheese back on. They ate, I sat quietly, and, behold, it was good. The hard outer shell of the crust was a perfect counterpoint the soft bread interior. It held up to the piles of toppings, and it even tasted pretty good, too. This could work.
I'm already wanting to make pizza again, and attempt to master my new toys. And I've also learned that you shouldn't dismiss the box recipe just because it doesn't have a famous chef's name attached to it. That doesn't mean I won't be using the professor's recipe next time, but I can always fall back on the one from the box if I need to. I can now make my own pizza AND beer. Life is good. . .
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Pork 'n Beans

2004-05-08T17:56:00.000-04:00

OK, so the running journal didn't happen. I took on a few too many things today, and that was the one to be sacrificed. But I'm OK with that.
First off, the Butter Burgers were very good. I'll add more butter next time, but I think the technique is solid. I even got the treasured compliment of "this is the best burger I've ever had." I love that.
On to the Pork 'n Beans!! I brined the 6lb Boston Butt from Monday night until Saturday morning. Then I made a paste from ~1 head of garlic, 3 shallots, canola oil, dijon mustard, paprika, fresh tarragon, salt, ground pepper, and lemon juice which I slathered the meat chunk with. I should probably add that I deboned the meat first, and threw the bone in with the beans. But, I let the pork marinate in it's slather all day, then broiled it until the top got brown, dropped the heat to 250º, and it's still in the oven.
The Beans! I soaked 2lbs of great northern beans for a few hours this morning (should have been longer, I forgot to do it last night. Then I sweated ~1/2 head of garlic, 1/2 a red onion (diced), and a chiffonade of ~20 fresh sage leaves. When the garlic started to brown, I dumped in the beans and 2 pork shoulder bones (I saved one from the last time I cooked a Boston Butt). Right now, everything smells pretty damn good, but I'll have to report on the taste tomorrow. I'm going to sautee up some spinach to go on the side, otherwise the entire plate would be off-white.
But, now, back to the Pork 'n Beans!
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The Butter Burger Project

2004-05-07T08:37:00.000-04:00

I have to start off by saying that last night's meal didn't dissappoint. Habañero hushpuppies, habañero and grilled salmon quesadilla, and pan-seared tuna tacos with Yucatan slaw and. . .habañero mayo. Topped off with a few of these, and that's pure magic.
Now, on to the Butter Burgers. . .
I had seen the concept on a cooking show, and it always intrigued me. Stuffing a chunk of butter into the center of your burgers when you patty them up, and my first thought was "Mmmmm. . .buttermeat . . ." But my second thought was that, once cooked, the butter melts out and you having a gaping hole in the middle of your burger. If something is going to be stuffed in there, it should stay there. Like cheese, or sauteed mushrooms and onions. But that will be another project. This time, it was about getting butter into my burger without sacrificing structural integrity.
So I purchased 2lbs of beef, going for the 93/7 instead of the usual 80/20 to compensate for the butter. I want flavor, not grease. Then I picked up a link of smoked andouille sausage (I like to add sausage to burgers, just some extra flavor) and a medium shallot. I chopped the sausage, diced the shallot, crushed ~6 cloves of garlic, and ground up 7-8 chile pequins from last year's garden. Threw all of that in the food processor with some kosher salt, ground pepper, cumin, and fresh thyme, then pulsed it down to a pretty fine crumble. Then, the butter. Half a stick of butter, sliced into thin pats, though I may try more next time. I pulsed it all into a wonderful, aromatic, buttery lump of meat-product, then worked it into the ground beef with my hands.
Right now, it's all pattied up and sitting in the fridge, waiting to be grilled tonight. I made a chipotle-cilantro mayo to go on them, with a little bit of garlic and lime. Other garnishes will have to be improvised at the scene. I beliebe that I'll wash it all down with the champagne of beers, which is always surprisingly good. Tomorrow I'll report on how they turned out, plus start the running log of our Pork 'n Beans dinner party (my wife is so proud). Until then, stay buttery.
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Make a Joyful Noise Unto Your Seat Cushions

2004-05-06T10:15:00.000-04:00

In celebration of my impending birthday, we're going to the greatest Mexican restaurant ever. They have chilehead night every Thursday, and it's one of the only dining experiences that I can count on for a pure endorphin rush. I highly recommend it, if you're in the area.
Tomorrow night's food project is my first attempt at making "butter burgers," which I'll have to report back on. Saturday is going to be a slow-roasted 6lb Boston Butt, which has been brining since Monday night. More on those as they develop.

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It Begins. . .

2004-05-06T08:20:00.000-04:00

I've always been a little odd. In elementary school, I had a sweatshirt that said "Why Be Normal?" I guess my parents were trying to tell me something. They probably still are. I'm still socially awkward, I still get nervous in large groups of people, and I still say things that end conversations and make everyone walk away.
But I make really, really good food. And that's usually enough to get me invited back to the party. . .

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